musings of amber murphy

Oh, my sweet Lord... I can blog again!

2011-10-28T13:55:00.000-04:00

Remember me?

My blog's been broken. Everytime I tried to publish a post, the text disappeared and only the title showed up. I've been waiting forever to try to post from a different computer, and today is that day. And it worked.

The last time I posted, Stella was still a wee babe. Now, she's 10 and a half months of trouble.

The last time I posted, ~~my number one~~ I had a small fear of flying. I conquered it!

The last time I posted, I hadn't been on an awesome Caribbean cruise for the wedding of a close friend.

Yup. I've now done that, too.

Please, check my facebook for photos and updates, because here's another new thing...

I am SO done with backstory.

Yes, folks. I'm writing again. And this time, it's for real. I'm going to get this thing done. (I'm pretty sure I've said "done" about 18 times in this post, but that doesn't count as poor writing. I'm just excited.)

So, I'm off to organize a very messy pile of google docs.

test on a different pc

2011-10-28T13:50:00.001-04:00

Here's hoping!

test

2011-10-28T06:57:00.002-04:00

test post 5551

2011-10-28T06:51:00.002-04:00

if you open this and there is no text, i might be shuttin' er down...

2011-07-28T10:19:00.001-04:00

I am about to punch blogger in the face.

2011-07-12T16:26:00.002-04:00

post fail. (the last one. hopefully not this one.)

2011-07-12T16:22:00.000-04:00

weally wandom wednesday

2011-06-29T13:52:00.000-04:00

TMI Thursday: sexy alone time

2011-06-09T14:37:00.000-04:00

Yeah, so this past weekend, Stella spent the night at my mom and dad's house for the first time.

Hubs (and I) were so looking forward to a little alone time -- but a wrench was thrown into the best laid plans. Saturday, hubs had to attend a funeral. His uncle passed away unexpectedly early last week. Heart attack. He was only 48 years old.

I had to work Saturday morning, so hubs dropped Stella off at my parents' house early. After work, I went over to my Mom and Dad's for a little while to hang out with Stella while m&d did their grocery shopping and a few other errands (ones they planned on doing before Stella came to their house, since to watch her ALL day Saturday was not the original plan.)

Yeah, are you following? So, it's Saturday afternoon. Hubs is funeral-ing, and I'm at my Mom and Dad's house getting ready to leave Stella (see: Raspberries vid I posted on facebook!) there for the night.

I called hubs to let him know I was on the way back home and to see what the plan was for our date night.

"Get condoms!" He told me with a bit of a slur in his speech.

"Hubs, are you drunk?"

"Well, I had a couple at the funeral after-party, yeah... Then I met B at Old Chicago for a beer. Now I'm at home workin' on a Nut Brown."

"Seriously? We haven't had sexy time for almost a full YEAR and you didn't think of stopping for condoms on your way home?!"

Mrs. Murphy (that's me) was not to excited about being the one to shop for rubbery contraceptives. But, seeing as how we can't afford another baby at the moment, I parked in front of our favorite gas station.

I even posted about it on Twitter while I put off actually going inside.

I chose a variety pack that didn't seem to imply that hubs needed help in the "longer lasting" department and went to check out. Of course, the clerky guy knows me by name and always asks about the baby. I was all, "Uhh, this is embarrassing... but I'm a safety girl!"

I probably sounded like I was having some hot affair.

If only.

So, at home... hubs is drunk and irritating. He grilled steaks for our special alone time dinner, but he cooked them to well done instead of our usual mid-rare. He kept getting weepy about being the next one in his family to die young, which I feared would happen -- not the dying young but the blubbering about it -- because sometimes hubs gets all emotional when he drinks. Ohhh, and I had to stop him from going to yell at our neighbor who seriously hasn't mowed his back grass once in the past two years.

And then he kept saying I had to be on top.

I was like, um... no. Beggars can't be choosy. And I pushed out our baby. But, since you are driving me absolutely insanespice, sexy alone time is now cancelled and I am going to take a nap.

At 9:00, on our first, real, special alone time night (when we could even sleep in the next day) I took a nap. I woke up an hour later next to the snoring man I married. I decided to get up and play with my iPhone, and the variety pack of condoms remains unopened as I write.

TMI Sadday.

and... you're finally caught up.

2011-06-08T11:44:00.000-04:00

In late May, we attended another graduation party. Damn Murphy cousins finishing high school and costing me money! Jussst kidding. I didn't mention yesterday, but I am proud that both cousins are amazingly brillant and one will be attending Ohio State while the other will (blech) attend The University of Kentuky. I don't hold it against him, though. Many of the Murphy's are UK fans. I just pretend I'm down.

So, some other cousins came to this second shin-dig, which was super exciting because they have a little baby boy who was born December 16th, just TWO days after my Stella. Caleb has the prettiest eyes, and I'm not jealous that he is soooo much longer than Stella, because she might be peanutty, but I like her like that.

(Also, she rolls over way more than he does.)

On Memorial Day, otherwise known as Hotter than Hades Day, we took Stella downtown for the first time. We attended this annual music festival called "Abbey Road on the River," in which a bunch of bands cover Beatles (and other) songs.

Here's Stella soaking up the sun:

It was also special to put Stella in her stroller seat for the very first time!

She. loved. it.

I took this on my iPhone, and then emailed it to myself. It's a cool banner from the event... probably all blurry on here even though it looked dope on my phone.

Well, I guess that bring us to this past weekend, when Stella spent the night at my mom and dad's house for the first time.

Secretly, this photo is from about three weeks ago. Oh, well.

You may or may not have read on twitter that I had to make a little stop on the way home for certain security devices which are used when new mommies and daddies spend special alone time together.

More on that tomorrow when I post on a... get ready for it... TMI Thursday!

tree: down, and other news

2011-06-07T13:28:00.000-04:00

Maybe I should just commit to blogging once a month... er, hello again!

(Let me catch you up on things.)

Stella has now visited her third state... Ohio! In May, we attended a graduation lunch, so we had to get fancy. I'm ever so slightly proud of the following photos.

It took us about four hours to get home from Ohio... because someone I married decided not to realize when he missed the exit and overshot our route by about thirty miles and also did not notice a large sign which said "Welcome to Indiana." Someone else was in the passenger seat playing with her iPhone.

Also, on May 26th... this happened:

It's hard to be too upset, considering that our bedroom is to the left of all that. It was so weird though... we didn't hear it fall. It happened on one of those horrid storm nights, but after the worst of it came through. $300 later, I'm thankful that my house is still standing, but I do miss the shade when I'm out of the back porch roasting in this June heat wave. Also, I miss my $300.00.

P.S. Here's what the tree looked like in December. It's the one that's closer to the camera.

You were a good tree. I'll remember you fondly.

Ohhh... I have an idea. I'll continue this post tomorrow... and then you can consider yourself caught up on my exciting, lovely life.

doom and gloom

2011-05-20T14:29:00.000-04:00

if the world ends tomorrow...

i'll never have to pay another bill.
i'll never have to clean the house.
i'll never have to worry about losing the baby weight.
i'll never have to work for the next paycheck.
i'll never have another scary dream.

but, if the world ends tomorrow...

i'll never get to finish my novel.
i'll never get to fly on an airplane.
i'll never get to travel to another country.
i'll never get to see my grandma again.
i'll never get to try Old Chicago Pizza.
i'll never know who would have won American Idol. (though i'll die knowing it should have been Haley.)]

and,
most importantly,

i'll never get to see Stella grow up.

So, come on, world.

Don't end tomorrow.

it's bananas up in here.

2011-05-18T14:49:00.000-04:00

Tell the Truth Tuesday

2011-05-17T13:39:00.001-04:00

1. Pretty much the only reason I'm blogging right now is because I left my iPhone at the bank when I came home for lunch. You know if I had my phone with me I would probably be playing Angry Birds right now. Just being honest.

2. Hubs and I had the following conversation on Sunday while watching the Survivor finale...

Me: I should totally audition for Survivor and win us one million dollars.
Hubs: You know that game is played outdoors, right?
Me: Well, I might be more of an indoor girl, but I'm already super good at not shaving my legs.

3. Seriously. I haven't been shaving my legs. The baby still sleeps in our room. I haven't felt the need.

4. Our house is a disaster zone. Disaster, I tell you. When the hell do I have time to clean? I'll tell you this: it isn't so much the time I need as much as it is the energy. Or motivation. All I want to do after Stella goes to bed is sit on the couch and watch t.v.

5. I'm really nervous about her starting to crawl due to the collection of dog hair, dust, and other debris that has collected on our floors since that one time when I was nesting.

6. I'm SPEEDINGspice through this post so I can watch last night's episode of Castle before I go back to work.

7. I'm pretty sure I would be way more caught up on your blogs if I didn't subscribe to Lamebook and Photoshop Disasters in my reader.

8. I think about my WIP while I'm blow drying my hair in the mornings and then totally forget to work on it.

9. I suck at being a writer. Because I always say I'm going to write and never do.

10. On Friday, this new guy at work was all happy at 5:00 because he thought it was time to go home. I was all, "No, one more hour..." and then he looked all dejected and said, "Wait. We stay open late on Fridays?!" I rolled. I laughed so hard. Then I told the rest of the staff about it, which required I repeat the story about four times. But, it was seriously funny. I think it was the look on his face when he realized... it just set me off into a fit of giggles. I laugh at my employees -- I'm an awesome boss. And that's the truth.

scary

2011-05-14T09:58:00.000-04:00

I was afraid to log in to blogger. I thought all of my posts might be MIA. Looks okay so far... I saw quite a few tweets from those of you who worried that posts might be lost to the bowels of the internets. Did everyone get their work back?

We're weekending here at the Murphy homestead. Hubs just went to a buddy's house to fix the brakes on his car. I'm seriously wondering if he'll be home before midnight. Those boys can make the simplest thing take all. day. long. (And by simple, I mean, shouldn't we just pay someone else to do it?)
Stella and I are enjoying a lazy morning. (And by lazy, I mean, I've started laundry, cleaned up clutter, and tried to make a dent on the housework... while she's napping.)

She's five months old today. We're celebrating with bananas, assuming Mr. Murphy gets home in time. Stella's been doing great with rice cereal and we are so excited to start her on new foods.

I need to put the camera battery on charge STAT.

...at the tone...

2011-05-11T18:16:00.000-04:00

I still haven't recorded a new voicemail greeting on my iPhone.

But, I practiced out loud in the car today because that's how I roll.

(I really entertained myself, too.)

"Hi, this is Amber Murphy. I'm not available to take your call, but leave a message and I'll call you back."

"Hi, this is Amber Murphy. I'm not available to take your call, but leave a message and I'll call you back... if you are not some effing telemarketer type person."

"Hi, this is Amber Murphy. I'm not available to take your call, because I'm probably changing a diaper, making a bottle, washing a bottle, changing a onesie, washing a onesie, feeding the baby, wiping spit up away, aspirating a nose, finding a paci, strapping someone in a car seat, unbuckling someone from a car seat, rocking a baby to sleep, or checking on a sleeping baby. Yeah, I'll have to get back to you."

"Hi, this is Amber Murphy. I'm not available to take your call, and if you think I have time to call you back, you must be out of your damn mind."

That is all for todayspice.

Random Littles

2011-05-10T15:15:00.000-04:00

A Little Lame

I'm so lame.

I never have time to comment on blogs these days. It does make me sadspice, so I'm going to work on catching up on the 1342 posts in my google reader. (Seriously. Thirteen hundred unread posts. I follow waaay to many blogs.)

Saving a Little

After giving birth to an expensive human being and also purchasing iPhones, we are cutting corners here in the Murphy household. I'm looking for ways to save money. So far, not going out for lunch is helping me to keep more money in my checkbook to pay the bills. However, I need to find other ways to cut back. I'm semi-addicted to TLC's Extreme Couponing, and want to try to start cutting coupons. Howevs, I don't even get a paper in the mail and I keep forgetting to leave the house on Sunday to go buy one... oops.

Just wondered if any of you are "coupon-ers." How's that workin' out for ya? Any tips for getting started?

Reading a Little

It's a far cry from my reading list last year (68 books read in 2010!) but I am turning a few pages here and there. My current read is a memoir -- If I am Missing or Dead -- and I'm loving it. I want to finish it soon so I can move on to The Help.

What are you guys reading?

A Little Cuteness

She makes pinching pennies worthwhile!

i'm cool now.

2011-05-09T14:42:00.000-04:00

Derby Schmerby.

I'm like a kid at Christmas. I finally got an iPhone this weekend. It's my first smartphone and stuff, so I'm literally giddy with excitement.

(It's SO easy to text people now!)

The only problem is an ache in my neck from spending the entire weekend looking down at the screen... uploading apps, checking facebook, sending a casual tweet...

I'm completely addicted to Words with Friends. Completely.

What are your favorite apps? Is your smartphone a huge timesuck? Don't you think that an iPhone was the perfect 1st Mothers Day gift to myself?

Gotta go. I want to play some Lemonade Tycoon before I head back to work, and I only have about 15 minutes left on my lunch hour.

picking up the pen; i'm writing again

2011-05-05T09:00:00.000-04:00

I'm getting a little lost in a world of diapers and daycare.

So I decided to start writing again.

I've revamped my WIP and it feels amazing to work on it. I struggle with every sentence. I have this issue with perfection; I don't just want to spill it out. Stooopid.

Before I got pregnant (or maybe while I was, I don't remember) I had an idea that I felt would take my WIP to a better place: a mysterious narrator, with a payoff for the reader at the end.

So, I'm working with this idea, and playing with the ways to include narration without overtaking the "present action" (I'm generally a past-tense writer, so saying "present action" always seems funny and false to me.)

And, I'm trying to be a more scene-oriented writer. When I read, I find it very irritating when a writer chooses to skip time without so much as a paragraph break. Yet when I look at the chunks of text I've already written, I find I do it, too.

So, I'm off to work a bit. I have the morning off from work, and Stella is playing in her crib. I'm learning that it's okay for me to refrain from entertaining her everysinglesecond.

But, I'm also learning that it's hard to focus when she's in earshot, making cutespice babbling noises and blowing raspberries.

the (boobie) juice bar is now closed.

2011-05-04T10:20:00.000-04:00

I've given up breastfeeding. I lasted four and a half months.

In truth, I've mostly just been breastpumping, because my supply was never extensive enough to keep up with Stella. For weeks now, I've been pumping less and less milk... it just wasn't there. And it wasn't worth the time it takes (5 to 6 pumping sessions a day @ about 30 minutes each = time I could be playing with Stella. Or sleeping.)

I did nurse her sometimes, and I thought I wanted to have "one more" nursing session with the knowledge that it would be the very last time I would feed her from my breast. I knew it would be hard, emotionally, so I decided to forget it. Usually, I'm a sucker for anything that will make me feel sappy and require Kleenex. But I'll always have fond memories of the last time...

The last time I nursed her was a couple of weeks ago. She had the flu, and she wouldn't take her bottle. I literally had to force her to eat; she was only getting an ounce or so per feeding instead of her usual sucking-down of 5 ounces.

She would nurse, though she probably just got a couple of ounces at a time from my breast. I proudly believe that it may have prevented dehydration. I patted myself on the back for being able to provide her anything at all. See, I'd almost given up breastfeeding a couple of weeks before that, and I was just extremely thankful that I hung on a little longer, and was there when she needed me most.

Sigh. I didn't mean for this post to be all about my boobie juice. Oops.

My intention was just to tell the bloggy world that since I'm no longer permanently attached to my breast pump, I hope that I'll have the time to blog more often.

Because I miss you people. And I miss writing. And showing off Stella!

Easter with Carley and Clayton. (P.S. She was supposed to wear that dress for her hospital photo. It finally fits!)

First time eating ceral. Also, a snot rocket.

Little Stella Cottontail. Re: Easter with hubs family.

Four months old back on April 14th. She's getting more interested in our dog, Carson!

River Soul

2011-04-12T09:45:00.001-04:00

Last week, we buried a friend. Bill passed away from liver complications which led to internal bleeding, transfusions, and a respirator that was eventually turned off.

Basically, our friend slowly drank himself to death.

He was only 41 years old.

I met Bill (and his twin brother!) at the same time I met my husband. We all worked at the same restaurant, and spent many midnight hours together -- playing texas hold-em at poker parties hosted at the Murphy homestead. Talking and drinking at bars that usually offered karaoke (me) and darts or pool (hubs and Bill.)

I'd probably only seen Bill twice since hubs and I got married in 2008. Things change. All of us stopped working at the restaurant.

Actually, Bill's twin brother still works there. His name is Scott, but we all call him Shaka. He's the gay twin, so he's invited when the restaurant gals and I get together for dinner. And he attended my "Preggers or Porn" baby shower, though he showed up so late that most of the guests had already gone. (He brought me Butt Paste for the baby. He said it was the perfect gift for him to bring. These are among the reasons I love him.)

So, Shaka and Bill are very close, obviously, because they are twin brothers. They have almost always lived together, even in adulthood. They have almost always worked at the same job -- until the last two years.

Bill has two sons, college aged kids. The oldest is awesome and responsible. The youngest is in and out of more trouble than you'd want to know about. Bill raised them as a single dad -- the boys' mom walked out years and years ago. In truth, Shaka helped a lot on the parental front.

Bill died last Sunday, April 3. His funeral was Wednesday.

It was a bad day.

Shaka stood by the casket, greeting friends and family at the pre-service visitation. I'd thought of how hard it would be to lose your twin -- at any age, really -- but I'd only thought of it in terms of feeling like a piece of you was missing.

I hadn't thought about looking down at a face in a coffin and seeing the spitting image of yourself. That's messed up.

And though it was supposed to be a "celebration of life," it was hard to feel very celebratory during the funeral.

Ber and Bill... in the good ol' days.

After, some friends went to a restaurant on the riverfront to have a bite to eat and decompress. The drink special was something fruity and girly, but I ordered one... it was called "River Soul."

41 years old. It just isn't fair.

the good, the bad, and the fat...

2011-03-30T11:15:00.001-04:00

I think I just had a huge endorphin rush when I opened this new post. So much to share... where shall I start?

The Good

The Bad
I went shopping for clothes on Sunday, as I no longer own pants that both zip and fit. I've been wearing maternity pants ever since I went back to work last month, and it's getting a bit ridic.

However, it made me sadspice to purchase pants in a double digit size. Gone are the lovely size 6 and 8 pants that I was able to wear this time last year. Hello, size 14.

That's right, I said it. Size 14.

Now, before you dub me a vain cow instead of just a cow, keep in mind that while I was in college I gained the freshman 15 during each of my four years. Back in 2002, I weighed more than I did when I went into labor in 2010. I spent the better part of my twenties losing my college weight. I did not want those pounds back.

(I should have thought more about that while I was feeding my pregnant face with cheese danish.)

So, anywaddle, after my Sunday shopping spree, my love handles and I were not feeling incredibly pleased with ourselves. I decided not to wear my new outfit to work on Monday. Instead, I slid into my comfy maternity clothes per usual.

It was midmorning when I waited on a customer who doesn't come in that often -- but often enough that we'd talked about my pregnancy at some point.

So, I stood up to take her deposit and she said, "Oh, WOW! You're really pregnant. I didn't notice it last time but..."

I just started typing in numbers and refused to make eye contact with her. I wasn't going to say anything.

But, she went on.

"When are you duuuuuueee?!"

I still didn't really meet her eyes. I just said quietly, "Actually, I already had her."

"You did?! How old is she?"

"She's three and a half ~~mothereffing~~ months."

She told me that she hadn't meant to offend me, and that it was really just my huge boobs that made her think I was waypreggo.

"Are you nursing?"

~~"Can we please stop talking?"~~

Yeah, I went in the restroom and cried after she left. I cried because if I'd had on my stupid size 14 pants and a shirt that wasn't all flow-y, then I probably wouldn't have looked pregnant. I cried because I hate my babybellyfatflab but I haven't hated it enough to stop getting Wendy's breakfast on a bi-weekly basis.

I cried because I've gained 5 pounds of my lost baby weight since I went back to work.

I keep making jokes like, "I have to stop eating my feelings!" But, it's secretly true. (Plus, I have all these coupons for free Wendy's breakfast sandwiches with a purchase. So, it's been really economical to emotionally eat.)

Le sigh. Also, I turned 30 March 2nd.

P.S. I don't think this is post-partum depression. I think this is a normal reaction to gaining a boatload of weight and not having the disposable income needed to update my closet with a chic plus size wardrobe. I need more than one pair of size 14's.

Anyone have extra big girl pants they can mail to me?

belated irish

2011-03-25T13:34:00.000-04:00

Things sure change in a year's time.

Here, hubs and I celebrated at the St. Patrick's Day parade in 2010:

I'm pretty sure it was beer-thirty in this picture.

Here we are, parading in 2011!

Guess which breastfeeding mom was the designated driver?

We are breaking Stella in early so that she knows what to expect with the Murphy side of the family.

Also, I considered putting green food coloring in her bottle, but then wondered if that might not be the best idea.

I intend to write an actual, real blog post next week -- you know, one that has more words than photos. I have many post-partum shennanigans to share.

I shall return.

Well, Stella now has her driver's license...

2011-03-22T20:30:00.000-04:00

I haven't blogged in about a hundred years.

I'm very broken up about it. I've missed it terribly.

Stella is keeping me busy every moment.

(Well, Stella and my breastpump and the endless bottle washing and rocking and sing-songing and diaper changing and cooing and oohing and ahhing...)

Yeah, so, mostly Stella.

Look how she's grownspice!

Remember this little December peanut?

Well...

Here's her most recent glamour shot. :)

How are you people doing?

What'd I miss?

french vanilla... or hazelnut?

2011-02-13T11:44:00.001-05:00

"Who IS this woman holding me? I don't even know her anymore!"

Clearly, I've had no time to blog since returning to the working world last Tuesday.

Le sigh. Any free time I have in the morning and evenings is reserved for Stella. God, the guilt of being away from her for so many hours SUCKS. I know it will be even harder when she's a little older and screams, "Mommy, nooooOOOO! Don't leave meeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Hubs was home with Stella last week, but she starts day care tomorrow. I'm a little concerned about how on earth I am going to get the two of us out the door, drop her off, and still and make it to work by 8:15 in the morning. (Let's just be honest. I pretty much know I'll be late to work tomorrow, since it will be our first try... but I'm talking about how in the hell I'm going to do it everysingledayspice.)

Anywhine, going back to work was a bit stressful, but not completely horrible. Trying to catch up on 8 weeks worth of bank-y changes, bank-y emails, and bank-y gossip is bound to take a little time and several hundred deep breaths.

Funny

I'm trying to make breastpumping at work as easy on everyone as it can be. I pump once mid-morning, take lunch 3-4 hours later, and then I can wait to pump again when I get home in the evening. (Or, as hubs puts it, I can just "give Stella the boobie" at that point, if she's ready to eat.)

So, on my first day back, I informed the co-ed staff of my impending pumping-routine-idea. My boss, a fan of the multi-task, suggested that I stand in the lobby and greet bank clients while pumping.

I scanned the bank branch and my eyes landed on our Keurig.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that. I'll stand by the coffee and I'll be the cream."

...my last day of alternate reality...

2011-02-07T11:27:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I've been in such a baby bubble for the last 8 weeks that yesterday afternoon I told my husband I was going to cheer for the Jets to win the Superbowl. (And I actually do like sports!)

Fail.

It's my last day of maternity leave: I go back to work tomorrow morning. The mix of emotions is intense, and Stella doesn't even start day care until next Monday, since hubs is on vacation and will be staying home with her this week. (I'll be coming home at lunch time for a little breastpumping/ cuddle session. YAY!)

Speaking of breast pumping, I'm a little concerned as to how that will work out for me at the bank. I'm thankful that my right to pump is federally mandated, but, um... bank branch = cameras everywhere. And a few camera monitors, too.

I'm pretty sure my pumping location options include:

a freezing cold restroom (thankfully, there are two restrooms in my branch, so I could theoretically occupy one for twenty + minutes without any inconveniece to the staff)

or, a smellyspice storage area where the cleaning crew keeps supplies... seriously, it reeks of ass and death.

I need to put the following items in my breast-pump bag: febreeze, maybe a scented candle, a space heater, and a notebook and pen... oh, wait -- won't have a free hand to write. I'll be double pumping; draining both gals at once, to make the process more time friendly.

Perhaps I'll get a tape recorder and dictate my blog posts (or my novel-not-in-progress-in-the-last-ten-months) to myself.

Sigh. I wish I could pump in our kitchen-ish break room area. It's cold back there, too, but at least there's a television and I could watch Family Feud or something.

It seems like just yesterday that we brought her home...

Did I mention I'm going to miss Stella?

Other things I'll miss:

* sleeping after her middle of the night feedings until 9:00 in the morning
* staying in my pj pants for the better part of ~~the day~~ every day
* taking a shower every other day, and never before noon
* staying home so much that I saved a bundle on gas
* daytime t.v. including Regis, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, The Talk, The King of Queens reruns...

Ohhh, speaking of The King of Queens. It randomly occured to me the other night WHY that show has its name.

They live in Queens, New York.

(Seriously, never thought about that before.)

Oh, God. I need to go back to work, don't I? *sings made up song* ...Cabbbin Feeeeever...

the end of the beginning

2011-02-04T10:22:00.000-05:00

I'm kind of sadspice.

I go back to work Tuesday.

Stella will still have another week before she starts daycare, as hubs is taking a vacay week next week to stay home with her, which means we'll all be home together this weekend and on Monday.

Soooo.... my point being... today is my last day of just Stella & me at home.

Maternity leave pretty much rocked. I mean, I guess it's kind of like being in labor... it isn't so wonderful while you're in the midst of it, but looking back... it was amazing.

There were moments during those days alone when she was fussy and I was exhausted that I just wanted to trade places with my husband and RUN back to work to get a break, some adult interaction, a full night's sleep (yeah, he gets that. I let him sleep, because I might be dog tired but I'm still a control freak.)

But, now that it's basically over I feel like maternity leave was the most precious time. I will never get to spend that much time with her allatonce -- seriously, maybe never again. Yeah, I'll have vacation weeks and stuff... but I'll never be off work for EIGHT weeks again.

(Unless I pop out another peanut.)

(Perish the thought. My checkbook can NOT handle that.)

(In fact, I told hubs that we might get to "do it" again on [or around] Valentine's Day, but that if we did he had to wear, like, four condoms.)

I digress.

Stella is awesomely adorable, and I really did treasure this special bonding time. And, to be honest, I'm looking forward to her leaving the "infant" phase and growing into the "baby" phase: rolling over, crawling, saying her first word, laughing...

Dude. Being a mom is kind of fantastic.

Perhaps when I go back to work I'll have other things to blog about besides this wonderful girl.

Future topics may include:

becoming a recessionista

american idol

post partum weight loss

the first time i eat sushi and get drunk post baby (cause that's overdue!)

my friends upcoming cruise-wedding

vacationgate 2011

ways i entertain myself for free

breast pumping at work: because you KNOW that is going to be interesting.

happy weekending!

sick little baby: i just wanted to take her place

2011-02-02T11:42:00.001-05:00

thankful that Stella is all better now!

Well, I thought I would just be able to blog my little heart out all the way through my maternity leave. Whoops.

Yeah, I'm behind again! After I posted my stellar-musical-performance, all hell broke loose in the Murphy household.

My husband had been sick. I got sick. Then, the baby got sick.

It was just over a week ago on a Saturday evening when I took her rectal temp to try to make her go poopie... and was shocked that the digital readout said she had a fever of 101.7! (They don't want little babes to have anything over 100.4.)

We ended up taking Stella to the emergency room -- thankfully, there's a nice, new offshoot of Kosair Children's Hospital (which is alltheway downtown) out in our neck of the woods.

After several hours, a urine cath, blood drawn, an IV in the back of my baby's hand, and a chest x-ray, they ruled out flu and RSV. Next, we had two options: IV antibiotics for 14 days OR a spinal tap to check her spinal fluid for bacteria.

The doctor reccomended the spinal, so we had to put our poor little baby through it.

Thankfully, it just ended up being an upper respiratory infection. Basically, she got the same thing that my husband and I had come down with. We were thankful that we got to take her back home with us that night -- the nurses told us that generally babies that young have to be admitted to the hospital, which means they have to go downtown to the main facility by ambulance!

Still, I don't ever want her to be sick again. Can I work that out?!

Sigh. I'm off to catch up on your blogs, assuming Stella sleeps a little longer. I missed the bloggy world, just like I always do during hiatus.

Did anything exciting happen to you since we last talked?

TMI Thursday: a virtual, vocal #facepalm

2011-01-20T13:06:00.000-05:00

oh, the humanity.

~~Several months ago~~ Close to a year ago, I had a bloggy birthday giveaway -- and was so excited to award Tina Sandoval with the prize package -- there was a $25 VISA gift card, a love quote frame, and a few other lovely items which I sent her way.

Howevs, there was one item I could not ship via US Mail. See, I (ridiculously) promised that I would vlog a karaoke dedication to my giveaway winner.

And how hard could that be? I'd have some drinks, get a friend to hit record on a digi camera, and sing my little heart out to some Lisa Loeb or something.

Yeaaah... and then I got preggers. And there was no way I was doing that shit stone-cold-sober.

So, sadly, I'm yet to make good on the karaoke promise.

Until now.

Kinda.

See, I couldn't bring myself to show my own face on the video. (You didn't want to see me anyway. New baby + maternity leave does not equal a shower every day. Trust.)

Here are more reasons that said sing-song is highly humiliating:

* I sang in the privacy of my own home, with no one but a 5 week old baby to judge me, and this was the best I did.

* There may or may not have been multiple takes, and this may or may not have been the best one.

* Also, the song is SUPER corny. I mean, I'm a new Mom and even I think so.

* That doesn't mean that I didn't get hella choked up while dazzling you with my pipes... yeah, we'll blame my horrid high notes on emotion.

So, I know that sappy country music isn't Tina's favorite genre... but, she has a daughter whom she loves and adores -- so I hope this tune makes her smile. Or laugh. Hysterically.

(I shall never be the next American Idol, but... I've sounded worse.)

Note to self: never again promise to vlogspice myself singing karaoke and then completely cop-out.

Song: In my Daughter's Eyes, usually sung by Martina McBride...

and in my defense, it's kind of a hard song to sing.

And stuff,

forgot my filter Friday: epic win

2011-01-14T09:47:00.003-05:00

Sometimes, the overshare gets me virtual raised eyebrows and general disdain, but not this week. This week, ol' Honest Amb came away with chocolate covered Twizzlers.

See, there are these really cool author/sister gals, Lisa and Laura. Some people think they are attached in a siamese way, and just call them LiLa. It's easier than tying out two names, I guess.

Anywin, they had a fantastically appealing contest over at their (hilarious) blog this week -- Best, most shocking, most hilarious, most entertaining truth wins the [chocolate covered] Twizzlers. Beyond excited to see what you guys come up with.

*drumroll*

Well, who else did you guys think would win?! (If you say Simon Larter, I'll punch you in the face.)

In the realm of shocking, hilarious, entertaining truth-telling... I will never let you down.

Here's my first-place comment. Please enjoy reading it while I go toot my own horn some more.

Amber Tidd Murphy said...

truth: I really wanted to win, because i think it like, releases endorphins or something... so i must admit that i am typing one-handed and the other hand is attached to my own boobie... i pumped breastmlik at the same time i emptied my google reader. titilating, i know.

Oops. I just realized that I typo-ed "breastmilk." Well, that's probably because I was TRULY typing with one hand!

As I told Lisa and Laura when I emailed them my home address: I can't wait to get my candy in the mail! I can't wait to get my CANDY in the MAIL!

P.S. You should follow Lila if you don't already. They have a book coming out March 1 -- THE LIAR SOCIETY. The story sounds soooooo awesomespice... I can't wait to get my hands on a copy. Lila revealed the sassy book cover today, and I dig it so much that I shall share it with you here.

Happy weekend.

Don't be jealous of my candy.

...for christina's mom...

2011-01-13T09:11:00.004-05:00

I was born in a storm,

when the earth opened up like a fist unclenching

and swallowed the dark.

My first wails were not in mourning,

not for life lost in a cloud of ash, billowed and blown,

on the day I was born.

You wrapped me, covered me,

sheltered me from the branches that broke,

from the thunder that you heard in your core

on the day that I was born.

And then the skies clear -- yes, autumn leaves settle down.

Warmth turns up the corners of your mouth.

You watch me dance in the puddles that formed

on the day that I was born in the storm.

When night falls,

when the wind howls again and your screams resound:

I will hold you, lift you up.

I will be the calm in the eye of the storm.

you might be a new mom if...

2011-01-11T08:48:00.000-05:00

1.) The auto-turn-off on your coffeepot shuts 'er down before 8:00 a.m.

2.) You drop a deuce and smile because you're able to do that again.

3.) You stare at the toilet thinking, "Is it necessary to flush that? Because if I do, and it wakes my little one..." You decide the flushing can wait.

4.) Your last 30 facebook updates include the word "baby."

5.) You've forgotten what hot food tastes like.

6.) Six hours of sleep in one night? Amazing. Six hours of sleep allatonce? Absurb and unknown.

7.) You take more photographs now that you ever have in your whole life, total. Many are close ups of little feet and hands.

8.) "Weight Checks" no longer apply to you, because why torment your post-partum self?

9.) Your nipples are no longer your husbands playground. In fact, if he went near them, you would punch him in his nutsackspice.

10.) It takes ninety minutes to watch a sitcom, four hours to watch a basketball game... and, if you're this new mom, it took you the better part of a week to watch the Survivor Finale and Reunion Show.

11.) You just know one day that she looks like you, and then the next day are convinced you see more of your husband in that adorable babyface.

12.) The color of poop matters. 'Nuff said.

13.) Your google history includes a search about "green boogers."

14.) You accidentally talked to a friend using your "baby voice."

15.) Your Christmas Tree is still up... and you start to wonder if you'll have the time or energy to take it down before spring.

Virtual Tour of Stella's Nursery with Mommy Commentary

2011-01-09T07:19:00.001-05:00

Happy weekend!

TMI Thursday: Friday Morning Edition

2011-01-07T08:14:00.000-05:00

I think I need to re-name TMI Thursday, because my weekly overshare often gets posted late or not at all. Hmm... I've been using TMI Thursday: Friday Morning Edition. Does this suffice? Discuss in the comments section. I'm opening to suggestions... perhaps I need a catchy title for each day of the week, just in case the mood strikes.

I'm thinking:

Way Too Much Info on Wednesday
More than You Needed to Know Monday
Forgot my Filter Friday
Soooo Didn't Need to Go There Saturday

Oooh, I like those!

Confessional
I was all set to write a TMI post yesterday, but I liked the 2010 Meme so much that I didn't want to have a newer post in front of it, shoving said meme to the back burner. Do you ever do that -- like your current post enough to put off publishing another? Er, maybe it's just me.

Inappropes

This is my bossman. He. is. hilarious. However... I think he lacks a paternal gene. (No, in real life I truly think he will be a super fun dad. And he's sweet to his dogs, which is a good sign for his future offspring.)

I enjoy many things about this man-in-power, but here are a few particulars:

1.) I told him that he kind of looks like Seth Rogen when he smiles, and though he stared at me blankly and walked away, he wasn't mad. I could tell.

2.) We had many conversations about my pregnancy. They were all sooo wrong... like the time he said, "What if, when the baby comes out, it just like, turns into DUST."

3.) Because I was pretend-offended that he may or may have not put dust-voodoo on my pregnancy, I told him repeatedly that I hoped that, when my water broke, I happened to be standing in his office.

4.) I told him about it when I lost my mucus plug and tried to explain what that meant. I told him to google it and he did.

5.) He was prepared to drive me to the hospital if I went into labor at work. He's kind of a neatspice freak about his ride, so I suggested loading up the backseat with beacoup towels. Also, I tried to warn him with worst case scenarios... "Um, so, what if your car stalls on the highway, and the baby is coming, and you have no choice but to deliver it?"

6.) His reply, "I've thought of this. I've watched those shows. It doesn't look hard."

7.) When I posted the link to Stella's newborn hospital-photo-shoot-slideshow, I had a facebook message from him that said, "Thank God! She isn't ugly."

8.) The next line? Something about the ones of her yawning being "special." See... he does have a heart.

9.) When I did finally go into labor, my plan was to text him a picture of a broken glass of water (get it... broken water?!) but that was waaay complicated in the midst of contractions. I couldn't even text at all. I just left him a boring voicemail instead.

10.) He turned 30 over the summer. We got him a cake shaped like a tombstone, and in icing-words, "R.I.P. Bossman's Twenties." My idea, obvi. Yeeeah.

Have a great weekend! And to my new follower(s?) from the December 2010 message board on The Bump... please don't run away screaming. This blog isn't meant to offend; it's goal and mission is to make you grin. Especially on TMI ~~Thurs~~Friday.

2010: A review in meme format (lots o' linky love)

2011-01-05T10:36:00.001-05:00

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Got impregnated, birthed a baby... also weighed my melons, got interviewed on the radio, loved my niece, (okay, loving my niece wasn't new) survived a bank ~~merger~~ ~~buyout~~ merger in which my original bank was not the one in charge, was the subject of a blog post written by someone other than me, attended a St. Patty's day parade with the Irish, got yelled at by my own thighs, painted a room, nested.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I tried to read 100 books. I read a respectable 68 books. I had low daily word expectations for 2010, and I exceeded that... er, fail. Resolurions for 2011? Nah, notsomuch. We're just going to enjoy the baby.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
If, by close to me you mean... rightherespice. *waves* (Also, my two besties from high school had babies in early 2010, another high school gal pal had twins in November, and THREE pals had babies on December 7th -- exactly one week before I had Stella.)

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, not in 2010! It twas the year of birth (see above) not death.

5. What countries did you visit?
Shoo, I didn't travel that far since I had a bun in the oven and stuff.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
The ability to fit into my regular jeans. Damn those cheese danish pregnancy cravings!

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 19th -- My old workplace, National City Bank, was sucked up and evaporated into another financial institution.
April 15th -- I peed on a stick. Multiple times.
December 14th -- My Stellybelly arrived.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

9. What was your biggest failure?
Possibly, naming my daughter Stella Claire. Because, I fear that when you say Stella Claire out loud it might sound like "Stale Eclair."

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
There was the gobstopper incident, the sports injury, and the root canal.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
It's all ~~lame and~~ baby-related.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My friends and family, who baby-showered me with much love, affection, and gift cards. My dad, who stayed in the room while I gave birth (he didn't peek-ster or anything) since my sister couldn't make it and I wanted a third person in the room who was NOT my mother-in-law. (Love her. I just didn't want to have to tell her no, so I avoided that by having the room at full capacity.)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mostly, my own. Have you read my TMI Thursdays?! Wait... my bad behavior was sooo 2009. Nevermind.

14. Where did most of your money go?
To the bills: mortgage, car payment... to my OBGYN, to baby paraphernalia.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Three words: it's a girl. Then, in December: a healthy little baby girl wail at 1:02 p.m.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Sister Hazel's This Kind of Love
Oh, Holy Night
Away in a Manger
Martina McBride's In my Daughter's Eyes

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
Defffffinitely happier and fatter. Probably about the same financially... that will change when Stells starts daycare.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish I'd saved more money. I wish I'd written more than I did. I wish I'd slept in more often toward the end of my pregnancy.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Eating cheese danish and doughnuts.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Showing off Stella at three family functions; Christmas morning at our house

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Yes; with a newborn.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
LOST, How I Met Your Mother, Cougar Town, Modern Family, The Middle, Survivor, Castle, Dexter, ... I like t.v.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don't hate. I negotiate.

24. What was the best book you read?
I read soooo many great books in 2010. It's hard to choose a fave, Top 5: Donna Tartt's THE SECRET HISTORY, Chris Bohjalian's THE DOUBLE BIND, Laurie Halse Anderson's WINTERGIRLS, every book I read by Curtis Sittenfeld, and THE GIRL WHO STOPPED SWIMMING by Joshilyn Jackson

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I quite enjoyed oldies but goodies, thank you very much.

26. What did you want and get?
A new digital camera, the honor of choosing a girl name, and a vacation to florida with my fam...

27. What did you want and not get?
I wanted to find Hubs a better paying job. So far, nadaspice. At least he has a crappy-paying job, though. That's better than no job at all.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
(Hmm... what movies did I see?!) One of my favorites was Remember Me, because the end was such a surprise. Also, I loved Alvin and the Chipmunks, the Squeakquel, because I saw it with Carley.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned the big 2-9 on March 2, and I celebrated with: sushi with my parents and hubster, a hell of a lot of karaoke, a blog giveaway... and on my actual birthday, I had to work at the bank... but a nice lady I know who works at Starbucks brought me a latte and a muffin...

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not having a huge fight with hubs about how I wasn't sure we should have kids... about .05 seconds before I got pregnant. Sure, it's special memory now... but it was a serious waste of energy and emotionally draining... and all for naught.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Maternity-chic, y'all!

32. What kept you sane?
Food, pre-natal vitamins, my mother, ultrasounds and OB appointments, feeling Stella kick... an epidural.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ryan. Yummy. Reynolds.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
My usual: equal rights for everyone... and a woman's right to chose.

35. Who did you miss?
Skinny-Amber... my Pappaw... other people.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

duhspice

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Sometimes, when you announce a fear out loud, the universe helps you overcome it.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
In my daughter's eyes, I can see the future -- a reflection of who I am and what will be.

three weeks in...

2011-01-04T10:38:00.000-05:00

Yeah, all I blog about is Stella. I'm okay with it... aren't you?

I can't believe she's three weeks old already. She's definitely hitting some milestones... lifting her head, focusing on our faces and random household items (like the ceiling fan.) She smiles -- and I swear they aren't just "I'm dropping a deuce" smiles.

So, to celebrate my little one's 21st day of life, Mommy and Stella will venture out of the house today... all by ourselves!

I have a few items to return to Target, and then I think we'll stop by the bank so Stella can see where Mommy works and so that Mommy's coworkers can dote on Stella.

Stella's Louisville Cardinal's fan-gear:
proof that Mommy loves Daddy.

***

The daddy just called from work to check in. He's a little grumpy because Stella's fussy time is between ten p.m. and midnight... and this is the exact time that Mommy tries to sleep so that Daddy can sleep from midnight until about 7:00 a.m. Mommy isn't sure why Daddy is so grumpy considering that he gets between six and seven UNinterrupted hours of sleep each night while the Mom is lucky to ever get that much TOTAL in any given day.

But, you know... Mommy isn't complaining. She really, really likes maternity leave and doesn't envy the already-back-to-work Daddy.

Daddy just told Mommy to take more naps during the day today, and that he would prefer it if the Mom would take a nap as soon as he gets home from work so that she can be awake to help during Stella's fussiest hours.

Mommy, on the other hand, would prefer to spend a little time with Daddy when he gets home in the evenings, maybe eat dinner together and watch some primetime television before she tries to sleep.

Ohhhhh, dear... Mommy wanted to tell Daddy to run and fu make a baby with himself! Mommy did not tell Daddy that she's taking Stella shopping in a couple of hours.

P.S. Mommy and Daddy really do love each other, we swear.

2011 goals? I just hope to get a shower today!

2011-01-03T09:51:00.000-05:00

Hubs is back to work, and Stella and I are just chillin' at the homefront. Mom is trying not to spend tooooo terribly much money on Shutterfly, and Stella is trying not to be toooo terribly disgruntled in spite of her chapped little ass. My poor baby has her first diaper rash.

(My blog is sexy, I know.)

I think I'm going to take Stelly to the pedi's office today -- get her weight checked and see what they reccommend for the red tushie. It's starting to blister a little and I'm afraid it will turn into a yeastyspice-thing.

Yummy.

I'm a little nervous about venturing out of the house with my Stellabelle... I'm yet to drive her anywhere at all. I'm great at being in the back seat next to her, but I'm supes anxious about just the two of us in the car, and me all far away in the driver's seat.

Good thing the pedi office is only 5 minutes away.

In other news, Stella took her first road trip this weekend to Mommy's home state! We My mom and dad drove to Bloomington, Indiana to visit my Mammaw, so Stella (and Mommy) went along for the ride. We surprised Mammaw -- who was beginning to think she wouldn't meet the baby until springtime, because I wasn't sure how long it would take for me to feel comfortable taking my little infant across so many miles and state lines.

Best. New Years Day. Ever.

2010-12-31T08:42:00.000-05:00

Blog Photo Review: A visually stimulating two years

August 31, 2008: knot = tied

Got Hitched

I adored every single inch of my modern wedding... rooftop ceremony, reception in an urban space overlooking a glass-blowing studio.. all the purple and yellow and black and white... the way I looked... the euphoria of pulling off the event...

love is grand, but a kick-ass wedding is, too.

Sept. 2008: Fish outta water!

Honey, moon me...

Hubs and I spent the week in Myrtle Beach, SC and

were there for Tropical Storn Hanna. Not a highlight:

super hard wind and rains. Definitely a highlight: forcing

my new husband to take my photograph on the beach,

me sportin' my wedding dress, even though our wedding

took place back in Louisville.

November, 2008 I spy a Hoosier!

Floor Seats in Assembly Hall, Bloomington

Yeah, we played ~~nobody~~ IUPUI. It was still top-ten on my most awesome life-experience list.

Summer 2009: Got a new ride.

I drove all night... to get to you.

Her name is Bella. She loves me and Edward.

Fall 2009... High School Musical: Reunited

After 10 years, I finally started to like my hair. AND I got away with wearing horizontal stripes!

April 15, 2010 - December 14, 2010: Baby Makin'

Beginning of the bump

End of the bump.

Result of the bump.

A final thought from Stella...

and she makes Mommy happy, too.

The two-ish years since I've started blogging have been full of ups and downs, but when I stop to reflect on the ups, I am overwhelmed at how lucky I am in life.

Here's to 2008, 2009, and 2010...

and cheers to so many things to look forward to in 2011.

Happyspice New Year!

TMI Thursday: Just Drop It

2010-12-30T10:22:00.000-05:00

(Preface: I didn't think I was going to have the strength to blog about this, but since what doesn't kill our babies makes them stronger...)

Two weeks have slipped by since our first day home with Stella. A couple of hours ago, hubs headed back to his job. (My mom took this week off from her job and is coming over to help me -- I think the plan is that she will entertain Stella while I clean up around the house. Part of me wishes she would do the cleaning up while I do the baby-holding, but it's her birthday today so I guess I'll let it slidespice.)

Um, anyway... I digress. (I'm stalling.)

So, I have one of those super-stylin' My Brest Friend pillows, which straps around me like a fanny pack slash inner-tube... I just lay the babe on it and whip out the boobage...

It pretty much rocks.

Well, I'd gotten kind of confident using that pillow because I had it with me in the hospital. So, for instance, if I... say, dropped the remote or something, I would just place my arm around little Stella's hip and back, grip the front end of the pillow... and then execute a quick bendy-move to pick up the remote... or my pen... or whatever.

So, Thursday the 16th -- our very first night home -- it was the wee hour and I was feeding my little ~~bottomless-pit~~ Stella when something... say, the remote, fell off the arm of the couch. Following the formula above, I went down to retrieve it...

I. flipping. dropped. Stella.

In truth, I didn't really drop her -- she more or less rolled off the pillow and onto the floor. She didn't even cry. She landed on her stomach. I have never moved so fast in my life! I got her up and inspected her -- deep breath, she was fine.

I called my sister, who is a nurse and works the night shift. She made me feel better by telling me about banging her daughter's head reallyreally hard when Carley was an infant. Whew. I guess it runs in the family; there's my excuse.

I wasn't going to tell my mom, but my sister told her for me. (I wasn't upset; I hadn't demanded she keep it quiet or anything.) My mom's reaction? Because she spoken to me over the phone between the time it happened and the time she found out, she laughed!

Apparently, she dropped me on my head when I will still a peanut. (No snide comments, guys... such as... oh, that'sssss what's wrong with her!) My mom was laying on the floor and had me up in the air looking down at her... and I just toppled out of her arms.

Okay, maybe it really does run in the family.

Hold me tight, Mommy!

The scariest part -- other than thinking about what could have happened had Stella landed differently, or how I been standing up in the kitchen or whatever when she fell -- was telling my husband.

He didn't give me too hard a time about it. He knew I felt so awful, and that it was an accident.

After Stella's acrobatic first week of life, I've decided that she is meant to be an Olympic medal-winning gymnast. Or, perhaps she'll do the high wire in the circus.

It's cool either way, as long as she doesn't marry a carnie.

CSN Stores: Product Reviews

2010-12-29T06:09:00.000-05:00

Cute mobile; not the same as the photo on the website!

When I got the opportunity to receive a free item from csnbaby.com, I knew that I wanted to find a mobile to accent my modern nursery. The Lambs & Ivy Madison Avenue Musical Mobile looked like the perfect addition.

When the package arrived, I was a little crestfallen at first. The mobile I received was not exactly the same as the one in the photo on csn. The mobile I expected to get was brown, tan, and white -- the mobile that came was brown, pink, white and yellow. I realized that the mobile shown in the product photo is actually the Lambs & Ivy Park Avenue Style. I considered returning the item and getting what I wanted, but decided that it still looked great and kept it to avoid any hassle. Plus, since I received it at no cost for doing the review, I figured there was no reason to be complaining.

My husband easily installed it on the side of our crib. Our newborn doesn't sleep in her crib yet, but we love to put her in it a few times a day to let her look at the mobile and listen to its music.

Overall, I love what I got -- it just wasn't what I expected to receive.

Cute but overpriced

I had been eye-balling this lamp for my new baby's nursery for quite some time, so when I got the opportunity to receive a free item from http://www.csnbaby.com/ and then review it, I was very excited and knew immediately I would choose the lamp.

The lamp base itself is well made, and I love that the lamp is energy efficient. As for the lamp shade, what initially attracted me to it was the pattern and the colors. While I do still love the way it looks when not in use, the lamp shade looks a bit funny when the lamp is turned on. There are some imperfections that are illuminated.

I do love this lamp and plan to continue to use it at night for softer light in my baby's room. However, if I had purchased the lamp out of my own pocket, I would have been a little disappointed.

oh, night divine!

2010-12-25T11:14:00.000-05:00

merry christmas from amber and stella murphy

may joy be yours today

and always.

the good tears

2010-12-24T10:56:00.000-05:00

I spent a good part of the nine months I was pregnant being a little miffed that I would have a December baby. I spent the better part of late November and early December just wishing she would getherealready... so her birthday wouldn't be dreadfully close to Christmas every year. I prayed that I wouldn't go past my due date and end up in the hospital for Christmas.

I wasn't that excited about having a "Christmas baby."

Then she arrived and none of that mattered anymore.

It is a special time of year to have a baby... and the hospital looked beautiful with winter decorations, Christmas trees, lights.

More, in those quiet moments alone with Stella, when I looked into her eyes, I felt like saying thank you to a Big Man Upstairs -- one whom I'm not even sure I always believe in.

On our last day at the hospital, the most wonderful thing: I was walking back from the nursery and I heard voices behind me -- the voices of a choir singing. I started to boing! my head and blame it on lack of sleep when I turned around and saw Christmas Carolers rounding the corner and headed my way.

Hubs was in our hospital room, holding Stella. I stayed in front of the singers and was choking back tears when I burst into our room and whispered for hubs to bring the baby into the doorway so she could hear the music and see the Carolers as they passed.

Apparently, we were the only ones in our wing who cared to stand and listen -- the carolers literally congregated in front of our room and continued to sing.

Tears poured out of my eyes as I was caught up in the emotion of the season and the magic of the moment. My husband's face was quite wet, too. Nurses were watching from the nurses' station and I'm fairly certain a few of them cr

The Carolers asked us her name and then they played Away in a Manger, dedicated to Stella Claire.

I'm not sure I can explain the beauty and overwhelming joy of that moment. Call it raw emotion, call it a divine presence, or say it just tis the season... but standing there I felt like heaven opened up and something greater than me said, "You're welcome."

Merry Christmas Eve!

TMI Thursday: Bringing Home Baby, Murphy's Making Memories

2010-12-23T07:55:00.001-05:00

my little polka-dot-peanut

For first time parents, bringing home a little bundle of joy from the hospital is a big milestone. I'm sure that every parent can recall this emotional event -- the fear you felt getting behind the wheel. Is the car seat installed correctly? Is her head tilted too far to the left? Maybe we should turn up the heat a little more!

Yes, this beautiful moment is marked with just a bit of anxiety, isn't it?

When we brought Stella home on Thursday, December 16th, we were feeling like every other new parent: scared out of our wits! We had some bonus stress: Louisville was covered in a blanket of sparkling ice. The sleet and freezing rain had come as expected Wednesday night, and cars and trees and ground were all coated in a crystal glaze.

Schools and businesses were closed -- even the bank where I work (when I'm not busy bringing new life into the world) was on a two hour delay.

We didn't leave the hospital until late afternoon, and after a quick stop at Walgreens for my 8-hour Motrin and brain-freeze-Percocet, we pulled into our driveway around 4:30.

Note: Hubs had slept at home the night before to a) try to prevent our dog from freaking out completely and b) to wake up and ~~shovel~~ karate chop the expected ice off the driveway. (I was slightly nervous that he wouldn't be able to get back to the hospital to get me.)

Anyway, so... there we were: home sweet home. Almost. I told hubs I would sit in the car while he went and unlocked our front door and then came back to get the baby. Hubs got out and went up to the mailbox. I waited a minute, then looked back to see that he was literally reviewing each piece of mail as if to look for terroristic threats or something.

I knocked on the window to get his attention. Stella was starting to stir and it was past time to feed her. I gave him the "hurry the hell up" face and did that "get over here" motion with my hand. Hubs got all pissy and slammed the mailbox shut, but he came around to get the baby.

"Sorry, it's just that she's getting hungry..."

Hubs carried Stella to the front door and I grabbed a few things -- the diaper bag, my drugs -- and tried to ease my broken self out of the backseat. Hubs couldn't come back and help me because Stella had never met our dog... we weren't trying to leave them alone together just yet... so I was left on my own to negotiate the icy driveway and grass. Since I was a) exhausted b) on drugs and c) walking about as fast as a grandma... I decided that I didn't want to risk slipping and falling down on our sloped driveway.

I dug one foot after the other and trudged slllloooowwwllly through the ice-grass.

Inside, hubs was at the living room window getting frustrated at my slow pace... since I had just yelled at him for taking alldamnday at the mailbox.

"She's hungry!!!" (And I use three exclamation points because he really spewed those words at me.)

Of course, I BURST into tears.

"Do you think I want it to take me five minutes to get inside the house?! Don't you know it's hard for me to even walk?! I know you can't come help me because you have to stay with her, but I AM TRYING TO GET IN THERE! I'm afraid I'll fall! Jesus Christ!"

I. was. sobbing when I walked across the threshold and made that transition from hospital-patient-playing-the-role-of-mommy into real, true motherhood.

And that is the story of the day we brought home our Stella Claire, who did not starve... and who also did not see anything all that interesting in the day's mail pile.

By labor, they mean business

2010-12-22T10:35:00.000-05:00

Stella Claire Murphy

12/14/2010

5 pounds 12.9 oz

19.25 inches long

Birth Story: not for the weak-bellied

Monday night, Dec. 13th -- I went to bed around midnight. Monday night became Tuesday morning, December 14th... at 2:30 a.m. I woke up with searing pain in my thighs and lower back. I decided to try to go back to sleep because we'd just been to the hospital 2 nights before with a false alarm and I did not want to be the pregnant woman who cried wolf.

I got out of bed at 3:30a.m. and started coffee. I sat through an hour of contractions that were spaced 4-6 minutes apart. The pain was so different than what I expected -- I thought it would feel like a fist clenching and unclenching in my groin. Nopers. More like someone poured kerosene on my kidneys and then intraveiniously pumped it into my thighbones as well.

At 4:45 a.m. I went and sat on the edge of the bed -- hubby's side -- and made him aware of our situation. He'd heard me moaning and figured I was up questioning whether or not it was "time."

By 5:00 a.m. I was in the shower. I managed to blow-dry my hair and even straighten it a bit! I put on the slightest bit of make-up, too. Not that anyone could tell, except for maybe the hair. I thought it kind of still looked decent after Stella was born. Score! (As for the rest of me... not so muchspice. )

By 6:30 we were on our way to the hospital. I never understood the true purpose of the "Oh, Shit!" handles in cars until then. It. hurt. so. bad. Hubs wanted me to think about how he would go get me my favorite hamburger from W.W. Cousins after the baby came I was all, "I don't even want to think about that right now! Wahhh-aiiiilll." Not real tears, just cringing an saying ovre and over, "It huuuuurts."

By 7:00 a.m. I was thrashing around in an observation bed, and the nurse made the observation that I was 3 centimeters dilated and fully effaced. I immediately asked about pain relief and how soon I could get it... the nurse said to me, "Soon, and congrats on being in active labor! We're moving you to a labor and delivery room. Can you walk over there?"

Whore. But, yeah. I walked. It was, like, steps away.

At this point, hubs was out in the hall on the phone to his mom or something... and I wanted to give him hell for leaving me alone for even a second... I lay in my new bed and thought about how awful it would be to have to go through this alone. I kind of wanted my Mom, but the nurse wouldn't let her in to see me until they had me a bit more settled.
At 7:30, the only thing helping me breathe through contractions was knowing that the epidural was coming in 30 minutes and I only had to endure a few more waves of pain.

Got Stadol at 7:45, which makes you feel drunk and also makes your face look fat, because mine did in pictures. Anyway, Stadol made my next contractions feel far awayspice, like ringing in your ears.

8:08a.m... Amber + Epidurral = true love forever and ever and ever and ever. And ever.

However, the Anestheezy doc stuck around after sticking me (ha!) because he was concerened that I might get massive headache that plague about 2% of epi-getters... something about a wet socket... the ligament in my back was super thick and when he pushed the needle through he "went too far." If this happened I would have to come back at some other point in time and get a SECOND epi called a blood patch or some other such craziness. OMFG. Thankfully, I have had NO headaches so far and for that I am very, very thankful.

Anyway. Back to our timeline of womb-doom.

9:30 a.m. cervix check and I was at 6 centimeters. I was actually kind of shocked that I was over halfway. Since I recently learned that 10 c.m. = 4 INCHES I started obsessing about the logistics of allthatdownthere. Ya know.

My water didn't break on its own -- apparently that only happens to, like, 15% of women. My baby-doctor came in about 10:30 and broke it with a stick thingy and I immediately was at 8 centimeters. She said my cervix was like butter. Whatever that means. (All the better for the baby to slide through, like a child's head stuck in the banister?)

By 11:30, I could have had the baby. I was fully dilated. However, they instructed me to "labor down," which turned out meant RELAX. That lasted an hour. I started pushing at 12:30 with my husband on one side of me and my mommy on the other. I asked for a mirror to watch myself work, and I KNOW that sounds uber-gross but I believe it helped. Since I had the epi, I felt nothing but pressure... but seeing the top of Stella's head was motivation to push to that full 10 count each time. (I think I did three sets of three pushes with the nurse, and then one more set of three with my OB.

They stamped her footprint on Daddy's t-shirt!

When her head popped out, my OB started suctioning, and I heard a cry. I think that made me involuntarily push or something, because then out came her little peanut body, and it sort of startled my doc. She caught my baby gal, though, and they put her on my chest. Time of birth: 1:02 p.m. Tears streamed down my mom and husband's faces. I didn't cry, I just looked at her in awe. Hubs cut the cord, and I had to warn him to "be careful, and cut right where they say to do it!!"

They took her to the scale and the warmer, and one of the baby nurses asked, "What's baby's name?"

I was all, "Wait, it IS a girl, right?!"

It was.

And her name? Stella. Little star. My Stellar Claire-Bear. My
Stellabelle.

p.s. My boobs hurt.

For unto us a child is born...

2010-12-20T23:46:00.003-05:00

I started a post and scrapped it... it was titled: "TMI Thursday, Monday Edition: Childbirth Photos."

Then I was going to write "PSYCH!!" as my opening line.

Anyway...

Blog world, she's here! Please help me welcome:

Stella Claire Murphy

12/14/2010

5 pounds 12.9 oz

19.25 inches long

A few things: yes, she's almost 7 days old already... sorry this post is delayed but I have been busy sacrificing my body, boobs, and bedtime for another human life. Plus, if you've befriended me on facebook, you already knew!
Still, as a reward for your patience, I will post a few photos of this December darling (and a few of them aren't on facebook yet... so they are super special.)

You'll have to settle for captions tonight, but I promise there are stories to tell -- get ready for TMI's out the ~~vagina~~ wah-zoo.

please note: she doesn't sleep here yet. Once she does, the crib will be empty of toys and other such hazards. (Musings of Amber Murphy does not condone leaving a child unattended with a boppy pillow.)

Stellaspice makes my life better than it was before.

I just thought I knew how to love... and then I made her.

*To view her hospital photo shoot, visit Bella Baby Photography and use 1214stella as the password to see the most adorable slide show. It gets me every time.*

TMI Thursday: Friday Morning Edition

2010-12-10T06:42:00.000-05:00

Lost my mucus plug yesterday. Word.

(If you know about those, then you know how TMI that is. If you don't know, then google it.)

(Hubs came up with a pretty decent descrption of it, though... "It looks like you blew your nose after you had a bloody nose.")

(I'll pause for regurgitationspice.)

Still no baby, though.

I'm six measley days from my due date on December 16th, and I'm starting to feel like a beached whale. No, not just a beached whale: an impatient beached whale.

I'm 1 cm dialated/ 50% effaced as of my last appointment.

What is she waiting on?! Christmas?!

it's the most wonderful time of the year!

2010-11-30T18:46:00.001-05:00

I shouldn't even be allowed to blog anymore because of the irregularity of my posts and my lack of keeping up with my reader.

Still... here goes. A post! How novel!

Top Ten Pregnancy FAILS
(my due date is December 16th... about two weeks and two days to go!)

1.) Secretly, the car seat is still in the box.

2.) Secretly, so are the stroller, pack and play, and high chair. And the crib is still in transit and coming via Fed Ex.

3.) Secretly, my bag for the hospital is only half-packed. So is the baby bag.

4.) Secretly, I only have four pairs of pants that still fit, and only three of those fit comfortably.

4.5) What are jeans? I've forgotten.

5.) Secretly, I don't plan on buying Christmas gifts for anyone under the age of seven this year.

6.) Secretly, I've considered wrapping baby clothes and other pre-purchased items to give my baby gal on Christmas morning. And I might fill her stocking with little nursery necessities from the now-stocked changing table. Do you know how much money I've already spent on this almost-person?!

7.) The reason I feel like she needs gifts under our tree? For the pictures. I mean, she'll be five seconds old for her first Christmas. She will love and adore it when I unwrap the breast pump.

8.) Secretly, I haven't taken any labor classes... like the ones about breathing techniques and what not. I figure I can just wing it. I'm really good at taking big sheedoobies. How much different can it be to push out a baby? :) (For the record, I did take other prenatal classes. I'm not completely moronic.)

9.) Secretly, I want my water to break tonight so that I don't have to go to work tomorrow. I mean, I want to meet the little one, too... I want her to get here soon for both reasons!

10.) Secretly, I feel quite certain that everything is going to be just fine -- in spite of all my pregnancy fails. So, this, number ten, is not a fail. It's an infrequent anti-failspice.

TMI Thursday part two: because hubs went out and saw boobies

2010-11-18T10:20:00.000-05:00

Did I ever tell you about my bachelorette party? It was THE best night. First, I looked hotspice.

Ohhh, I miss skinny Amber! Circa 2008.

Secondly, there was this:

I love how it looks like I'm in an empty room. There were PLENTY of other ladies there who, I might add, ALSO got flipped around.

Okay, so, obvi... my bachelorette party was second to none. There are no words. It was an amazing night. (I credit the dress.)

Simultaneously, hubs was embarking on his bachelor party. The boys were on the way to play paintball in an RV... on loan from the parents of one of the guys. They stopped for gas, and the guy in question filled up the tank. With diesel.

The RV didn't take diesel. The guys were stuck there for quite some time, in the July heat, waiting on a ride...

Long story short, they FINALLY got to play paintball, then went to Diesel-boys house and cleaned up and cooked out, and then ended the night at the Casino Boat across the river from us in Indiana. No strip club, no thongs or dollar bills or boobies for my groom! What a lame bachelor party! Looo-sers.

Later, hubs found out that my friend (yeah, it was the same preggers or porn gal... the Math teacher!) had gotten me a stripper for my b-party, which obviously was about 21305 times cooler than his b-party.

Sooo, I always told hubs that I "owed" him a night of stripper-ness. You know, where he's allowed to go to the semi-nudie bar without me getting mad. (See, it's really not his thing. He's never been to a place like that... not that I know of!... in the eight-ish years we've been together. I figured allowing him to go would make it even less likely that he would actually do it. Yeeeeah.)

Fast forward, two years later, I'm home cleaning on a Saturday night, just a pregnant and loving wife preparing the home for a baby. Hubs was out at the Louisville football game with a guy-friend. (Actually, it was the same guy with the Diesel-issue in the RV!)

After the game, hubs called en route to a sports bar. The boys were going to hang out a bit longer. They ran into some other friends, blah... etc...

I'm SURE you can see where this is going! Hubs got home a few hours later, and I was all, "Where'd you guys go?"

Yeah, they went to a strip club. The friends they ran into were a part of... you guessed it... a bachelor party.

Hubs was like, "I stayed far, far away from the nekkid women."

I told him not to say "nekkid" ever again.

I tried not to be mad. I really wasn't mad. It's just... I'm pregnant and fat and disgusting and haven't been laid in months...

I was sad. So I started crying. I kept saying, "I'm not, sob, sniff... mad. I'm, sniff, really not mad."

Hubs felt bad.

So, after I quit crying I decided I was glad that he went because he was home by 9:00, which means it was a pretty lame trip to a strip club. And now we're even, so he can't really get away with going again.

And I got flipped around by my own personalspice stripper. Hubs probably just got an eyeful of side-boob.

I win.

TMI Thursday: finally, the "preggers or porn?" episode

2010-11-18T09:48:00.001-05:00

The first thing you should know is that I'm getting my air ducts and carpets cleaned today. So, as I sit here and write this, there is a Sears man running around my house. I keep wondering if he's going to sneak up behind me and see the words "preggers or porn."

Anywaddle.

I've been promising to explain Preggers or Porn? for, like, a week and a half now. It was a super-fun baby shower game. A few weeks before the event, my shower hosts chose pictures of women from various websites of ill-repute and inter-mixed those with pictures of women in labor... there was a ton of cutting and pasting and cropping of photos involved to turn this fantastic idea into a ~~semi-classy~~ baby shower game.

The host -- my good friend and also a 7th grade Math teacher -- put it all together in a professional-looking power point presentation. At the shower, she handed out dry erase boards (ones she uses in her classroom, actually...) and powered up her lap top, and the guests had the pleasure (?) of guessing whether or not the woman in each photo was either a) in labor or b) in porn.

It. was. hysterical. And fun. Especially because:
a) Alcohol + this game = Awesomeness (for some... not for me...)
b) My mom played. Hearing her say, "I'm pretty sure that one's porn," was priceless.
c) Ashley @ As A Matter of Opinion was at the shower.. and she WON the game!! Seriously, she got EVERY SINGLE one right. I only got, like, 7 out of 15 or something... and I had helped pick the photos!

Ashley, on the left, won the game... but she swears she's never even seen porn!

I've seen porn. But, I didn't win.

Everyone had to be sure to thoroughly erase their answers, though... if the last word they wrote on the dry erase board was PORN... because, you know, that might have caused some issues in my friend's classroom. "Um, teacher?! Why does my dry erase board say porn on it?" Then, later that night, "Mommy... what's porn?! Does it have to do with Math?"

I wholeheartedly suggest that you play this game at any baby shower you're ever involved in. Thanks.

*Secretly, I'll be doing a second TMI post today... because sometimes things happen in life that are PERFECT fodder for TMI Thursdays. Get ready. Preggers or Porn? was trumped this week.

let there be light ... and pink... I think I'm in love with this lamp.

2010-11-12T08:39:00.000-05:00

Awhile back, Ashley at A Matter of Opinion started working with CSN Stores -- CSN has over 200 online stores where you can find lovely items for your home -- like modern extra tall bar stools or quality, affordable cookware.

Or, if you're like me... if you don't cook dinner but are cooking a baby-bean... you can scour the internets for hours and hours looking at CSN Baby.

Anywaddle, ( <-- pregnancy sound effect) Ashley has paved the way for me to work with CSN Stores, too -- and I'm excited that I will soon be reviewing a product on my very own little blog!

I have been looking for a lamp for the nursery, as hubs and I have very little overhead lighting in our home... so I can't wait to receive the lamp below in the mail from CSN!

P.S. Musings of Amber Murphy is now accepting any and all offers which include gratis-baby-plunder.

This is going to look sooo perfect in the nursery. Let there be Lightspice!

So, stay tuned for my review... coming soon.

(Also, I know I owe you a TMI Thursday story about a certain game that was played at a certain bloggers baby shower... and I promise to make good on that. Seriously. I'll tell you what went down. I just didn't get a chance to blog yesterday because I was busy painting the nursery. Less than 5 weeks until my due date, folks. We mean business around here.)

what I've done, what I should be doing, and what I am doing...

2010-11-10T11:43:00.003-05:00

What I've done today:

* Made a list of things I still need to do

* Drank my daily allotment of coffee (sadly, 1.5 small cups)

* Organized the baby loot

Bath Items.

Kitchen Aisle.

* Ordered ~~a few~~ a massive amount of baby things from Target online

What I should be doing:

* Completing the tape-the-nursery-walls since my mom and mother-in-law are coming over tomorrow afternoon to help paint! And since I told said mother-in-law that we've already finished taping... whoops!

Remember the M & M people?! They've been primed-over. Hubs cried. He said the yellow one ended like Old Yeller.

* Finishing the cleaning of the living room, then obsessively scrubbing the laundry room to complete my deep clean.

* Spot cleaning the rest of the house, as to keep it clean now that my "deep clean" is basically complete.

* Taking the final--ish load of giveaways to Goodwill

* Going to the daycare I chose... to pay my deposit and, also, begging to God I didn't wait too long to formalize my decision.

* Calling my HR department to get the ball rolling on Maternity Leave.

* Composing 4.2 zillion thank-you notes... I was blessed to have 3 baby showers. (Number of baby bath tubs received? Three.)

What I am doing:

* Blogging. Can I get a what-what?!

* Getting ready to watch last night's epi of GLEE since I was too sleepy to watch it after I got home from a Basic Baby Care Course (free!) at the hospital where I will deliver. (Dude. Things have changedspice in the 10-ish years since I was World's Best Baby-sitter.)

* Taking pictures of baby-loot-madness for your viewing pleasure:

Boobs.

Smooth.

A'ight. I'm off to go clean things.

Oh, no. I didn't want to become a boring mommy blogger...

2010-11-08T10:16:00.000-05:00

Pardon my almost-month-long blogging hiatus. See, I had this dream that I wouldn't become a mommy-blogger, but that idea, my friends, was for the birds.

I'm less than six weeks away from my due date, and there is absolutely nothingspice else on my mind but getting ready for baby.

I'm off work again this week, and thankful that I hoarded my vacation time so that I can continue with my borderline OCD nesting. (Ohhh, you guys didn't get to hear about that week when I was off work in mid-October, did you?! I spent the entire week cleaning my house. I'm talking wall scrubbing. Every inch of wall space. It took me 2.5 days to do the kitchen.)

Today: I tackle the living room. But, before I get started I wanted to pop in to say that I miss EACH one of you so much!! I am unforgivably (but, understandably) behind in my google reader. I can't wait to catch up on your lives!

Before I go, enjoy these preggo pictures. I know you'll just love to see how much I've grown. (40+ pounds, which I could practically shed in tears... when I think upon the girth I've gained...)

Preggo Murphy, my sister, my mama, and my niece, Carley!

At my "friend-shower," we played a game called "Preggers or Porn..." I'll wait and explain this on Thursday.

My gal-pal from high school is expecting twins and is due four weeks after me. She's not ALL that much bigger than I am, and she's growing TWO babies at once!

There's more to come. I swear it. I've missed blogging.

TMI Thursday: Oh, Mom

2010-10-14T13:19:00.000-04:00

I love my mother. I do. She has her little quirks, though.

For instance, she "doesn't know how" to pump gas. Literally, she doesn't ever do it. My dad takes her and fills her car up weekly... or as needed. Obviously, we give her a little hell for it on the regular.

So, while my mom and I were in Bloomington visiting my rehab-ridden-grandma, I knew I would be on tank duty.

My mom pulled into a gas station and tried to nagivate her way up to the pump, totes preoccupied with the task at hand. ("Is my gas tank on this side, Amber?!")

Well, I wasn't paying attention, because I was in hysterics when I saw this place of business:

Doggie Styles: A Canine Salon.

So, I was all, "Mom... do you see that?! That is so funny!!"

And she wasn't really paying attention, because it's "hard" to pull up to a gas pump. So, she giggled in agreement... and I still couldn't stop howling.

"Mom, that pet groomer is called Doggie Styles.... hahahahahahahahahahhh."

Then, I considered the possibility -- "Wait, Mom. Do you get why that's funny?"

With her car finally in park, she could concentate on the hilarity at hand.

"Yeah, like sex?"

(Oh, I hope this wasn't funnier in my head. To know her is to love her. It was just the way she said it, so innocently, like it was something she maybe shouldn't have known about.)

But, peace out. I gotta run. I really want a Sonic burger before my lunch hour ends.

in which i should be squatting on eggs

2010-10-13T11:46:00.002-04:00

Squack!!

I think I am officially nesting, since I spent most of my Monday-bank-holiday cleaning.

I decided to start in the back of the house and I seriously spent THREE hours cleaning our bedroom. I started with a dry cloth and wiped down every inch of wall space -- carefully using a step-ladder to reach the top -- and then followed with a wet towel. (I must have switched out my bucket of hot water at LEAST ten times.)

As I worked my way around the room, I used the vaccuum attachment-thingy to get every cob-web. I dusted each inch of the furniture, which I hubs moved as I went. I wiped baseboards. I vaccuumed behind and under everything.

I even removed the cobwebs from the insides of our closets. Who knew they were even there?!

(Here's the reason I know I'm nesting: I secretly really enjoyed myself the entire time.)

Next up: the guest bedroom, which is probably even dirtier since our dog hangs out in there.

In Color News:

We bought paint! I'm on vacation next week and one of the major projects I need to mark off my list is painting the nursery. I'm super excited about the color:

Valspar's Bay Mist... I think it will look super cute with my pink and brown accessories!

In drop-sie news:

At work yesterday, I was counting a stack of 50 dollar bills and dropped a few. I took my hand and just swept the rest of them off the counter and onto the floor, then bent over and started picking them all up. I just figured that if I had to get down there, I might as well make it more worth my while.

Family Medical Leave Act

2010-10-06T18:04:00.001-04:00

You know how all the cool kids say "FML" now?

(In case you didn't know, that stands for ~~"fuc~~ "profanity my life.")

Well, for the last week or so I've caught myself saying it under my breath, but because it's so crass, I've been adding an A on the end.

Imagine it: I just dropped something, and I have to bend over to pick it up. (The pregnant belly does not love these moments.)

So, I look at the item on the floor, sigh heavily and say, "FMLA."

I, personally, think it's hilar. I told my co-worker about it today and I was all, "Yeah! I've been sitting on that for like a week, just entertaining myself in my own mind."

I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm off my rockerspice.

five october things i love

2010-10-05T16:55:00.000-04:00

1. Autumn Leaves.

Photo: Zest-pk via flickr

I just love when the leaves change colors... my mom used to make the family go on drives to nowhere -- just to look at the pretty trees. (I did not love it back then.)

2. Cider Beer

(oh, wait... that was last year.)

Photo: randomduck via flickr

3. Hot Apple Cider

Photo: kthread via flickr

I want to drink somespice... of that spiced cider.

4. Makin' S'mores

Photo: andresmh via flickr

And eatin' s'more s'mores.

5. Men in Sweaters

Photo: dunikowski via flickr

I wouldn't mind bobbing for apples with him!

~happy fall~

mama shopper

2010-10-01T13:46:00.001-04:00

I'm pretty sure I'm officially obsessed with shopping for the (as-yet-unnamed) baby.

Wanna see some of my finds?!

I found this red and black baby carrier at a consignment sale -- it was a steal at $45.

Those things are normally like $100. And, they're all the rage.

I'll look soooo awesome with my baby strapped to me!

This little dress is probably my favorite purchase so far. Technically, it was free because a bank customer gave me a $25 gift card to JC Penney as a gift for the baby. (In real life, it was $20, which is a little more than I want to spend on any one thing that will only fit my baby for the first 0-3 months of her life.)

Don't you think she should wear this dress for her first photo at the hospital??

(I do! Hubs wants her in a Louisville Cardinals sporty onesie or something. Pishawspice.)

I also love and adore this art ($5.99 at TJMaxx) and it's become a bit of inspiration for my nursery design ideas.

I think I'll paint the walls that pretty blue. Don't the pink and brown polka dots just look fantastic with that lovely blue?! (I'll be decorating in the pink and brown family, polka dots and stripes and solids.)

(As a bonus, we could use the same blue room for a boy baby, should we semi-accidentally procreate again in the future.)

lolspice.

TMI Thursday: show me your milk jugs

2010-09-30T13:12:00.002-04:00

So, the first part of this TMI will be scary/sad. Don't get weepy. It turns out okay.

As you know, I love and adore my almost-86-year-old Grandma, who lives about two hours away from me. She had hip replacement surgery a few weeks ago and was moved to the hospital's rehab unit a few days later.

All was going well, until amost two weeks ago on a Sunday night, when my mom got the call that she had been completely unresponsive for over 45 minutes. (All her vitals were okay, but she wouldn't respond to painful stimuli -- like a sterum rub, which supposedly hurts like hell.)

(EKG, EEG, all that were normal. A stroke was ruled out. But still.)

My whole family RUSHED to Bloomington to be with her that night, fearing the worst. Our fears were 100% justified because she claimed that while she was "out" that she saw the pearly gates! She's all, "Let me tell you how you go; I'm at peace about it; line the box with pink and put me in my pink robe; I'm proud of my family, blah, sad, etc..."

Here's where it turns out okay: she's still with us.

And here's when it gets funny: my mom and I went to visit her again this past weekend.

So, my mom had previously seen me getting into the shower, huge preggers boobs and all... you know, with the darkened nips to boot! (If you didn't know, now you do... that happens.)

Anyway, my mother decides to pull the curtain around my grandma's bed. "Show Mammaw your boobs!" she said.

So, I flashed my bedridden Mammaw, who took one look and decided, "You'll scare the baby!"

Meanwhile, my grandma's roommate seems to be wondering what we're up to. My mom explains about the peep show I've given.

THEN, my grandma says, "Show her!"

I'm all, "Mammaw, no, I'm not showing your rehab roommate my boobs. No way."

Awhile later, my Mammaw (whose short term memory isn't what it used to be by a long shot) asks, "Will you show 'em to me again?"

I oblige, but tell her with my shirt still lifted up that I can NOT believe she wanted me to flash her roommate.

My Mammaw has disapproval all over her face and shakes her head as I put my shirt back down.

"You should have showed her, Amber. She would have enjoyed it! She has all sons."

In closing, I would like to take this moment to say that I am not sure how much longer I've got left with my Mammaw... yet I'm so thankful to still be able to make those memories.

*pre-preggers size.* they are now quite unsightly. just ask my grandma.

Thank you.

Photo Growth Chart, or, the Vlog that will never see the light of day

2010-09-29T16:51:00.003-04:00

I'll just dive right in without any excuses for my three-week disappearance from blogging.

First and foremost, how bout some Stamos on Glee last night?! (Okay... this is kind of funny. When I started this blog, I almost didn't use it. A year-ish amount of time passed, and when I decided to blog regularly, the way I broke the ice involved John Stamos. That was in September of '09. Take a gander.)

And, for more on my love affair with Uncle Jesse, click here. (That post totes rocked. I'm probably going to have to re-post it at some point. It's top ten, fo sho'.)

Anyway: confession. I secretly just made a little vlog to show you peeps my baby bump, but it was so white tra-shay that I am not able to post it. I was holding the camera up to the mirror in my bedroom whilst I recorded, and it's soooo dark and blurry (not to mention the unmade bed behind me...) that I just have no choice but to feed it to the bowels of the internets.

Sorryspice.
A picture will have to suffice.

(Yes, that rhymed.)

As a reminder, here's my frontal view at almost 14 weeks:

muffintop in the oven

And here's the latest -- I'm now a whopping 29 weeks preggers -- be warned -- you might want to avert your eyes.

leggo my eggo, cause i'm preggo.
and p.s. that is NOT the same white shirt that i wore in the other picture. It's a bigger one. Obvi.

Weighing in, there are 35 more pounds of amber murphy than there were before-bumpage.
Don't I sound proud of myself?

Yeah, not so much. However, I've been burning calories these days by ~~power walking~~ shopping for the baby!

*Pictures to come.* Stay tuned! I promise to blog more often in the weeks to come. I even have a fun TMI for tomorrow, so get ready.

top ten things I've done lately

2010-09-07T18:37:00.001-04:00

Friends, if you miss me half as much as I've missed you then we're in business... let me just get the "I suck at blogging and life" pity-party out of the way.

Okay. Donewiththat.

Here's what I've been up to since we last spoke.

1.) Convinced hubs to let me paint over the creepy M & M people in our nursery-to-be. (As you may recall, this wall art is leftover from the previous home owners.)

2.) Driven to Goodwill 6523 times and donated about 531213 pounds of clothes and other ~~trivial junk~~ lovely home decor.

3.) Cleaned out EVERYTHING from the baby's room... except for the furniture. After one more trip to Goodwill and pick-up from Cedar Lake Lodge (we're getting rid of a full sized bed, a random could-be-a-breakfast-table table, and a few other large items) I'll be ready to move the furniture out of the room and it will be empty and ready for painting! (Yeah, no. I'm not moving furniture. I'll have someone else do that.)

4.) Mostly, completed my registry. Asked my co-workers if they'd prefer an invite to my baby shower or, and I quote myself, "if they'd prefer to do their own thing for me."

5.) Somehow, avoided coming off as a heinous gift-hungry snob when I breached this topic of conversation.

6.) ~~Wondered if~~ Wished someone from Ergo Baby Carrier (or one of their competitors) might read this and send me a product to review.

7.) Gained another 6.5 pounds. (Well, probably.)

8.) Sucked it up and purchased a boppy pillow from a consignment sale. (I mean, I paid $10 for it... and I can just register for a new slipcover.)

9.) Cried random-hormonal-pregnant tears only ONCE. (Thankyouverymuch.)

10.) Had the following conversation with hubs... enjoy:

Hubs: I don't care what you name her... I'm calling her Penny.

Amber: You can call her whatever you want, but you'll be calling her that every other weekend.

do not disturb...

2010-08-31T17:44:00.002-04:00

Yeah, so while I was home at lunch today I wrote this super-cute blog post about how today is my two-year anniversary. I even thoughtfully linked all three of the past blog posts which have the wedding pictures. There was an adorablespice "do not disturb" image, too.

It was all very posh and romantical.

Then, at the end of the post, I linked a picture of the two of us. But it was completely heinous, so I went to remove it.

And when I did, my entire post DISAPPEARED. And I tried to exit out before blogger saved said BLANK mother-lovin' post, but the damage was done.

An entire post. Eaten for lunch. By blogspot.

#Damnitalltohell.

Yup, it's just been that kind of week. Our air conditioner is on the fritz, and it's currently 82 god forsaken degrees in my house.

Plus, I am so hormonal, I could kick a puppy.

Hubs better not expect sex tonight in this sweltering climate. (Were hubs to read this, he would probably say he's waaay past expecting sex. I thought libido picked up during the second trimester of pregnancy. Apparently, I was mistaken.)

The "do not disturb" sign is no longer necessary. I should just go ahead and retitle this post.

Ain't love grand?

TMI Thursday: in which someone didn't plan ahead

2010-08-26T06:58:00.000-04:00

Ahh... the bliss of having TMI to tell. Especially when the overshare relates to someone other than me.

See, Sunday afternoon hubs and I went traveled to Lexington for my niece's birthday party. (Happy 5th!) After, we joined the immediate family for dinner at TGI Fridays (where I went a bit preggers-hormonal on the waiter, who really did suck at his job. But that's neither here nor there.)

After a round of good-byes, hubs and I got settled into the car, happy to head back to Louisville -- we're always ready to get away from those Kentucky-Wildcat-loving Lexingtinians. Plus, hubs is a niners fan, so he was excited to get home and watch a bit of the Favre- vs.-49'ers preseason game.

Anywhoddle, hubs was in the drivers seat and Lexington was hardly in his rearview when he said the unthinkable...

"Um, I'm going to have to pull over. I think I pooped my pants a little."

I wanted to burst into immediate hysterical laughter, but then I realized we were in my car so it wasn't quite so funny.

Hubs pulled into Speedway and I asked him to get me a cold beverage after he took care of business. When hubs got out of the car, I was unable to do anything about the little brown trail on the back of his kakhi's. I hoped no one waited in line behind him while he bought my caffeine free drink.

I laughed and shook my head. My eyes landed on the empty driver's seat and the little greasy line that hubs acciddentally left there. Ew.

When hubs opened the car door, I leaned over a bit and said, "Dude, you did poop your pants. It's on the seat!!"

Apparently, some lady walking in the gas station turned and stared and hubs was humiliated. But not as humiliated as me: my 32 year-old husband just pooped himself for no reason. I married that.

I recalled a guy from high school: kind of a sweet-douche-bag... his most redeeming quality is that he made out with me after Junior prom even though he was not my date. Ahh, memories.

Rumor has it, this guy accidentally shits himself on the regular. I've been known to really laugh about that with some girlfriends on multiple occasions.

Man, karma really is a bitch! She made hubs poop his pants to punish me.

because it takes a village...

2010-08-23T19:34:00.000-04:00

Photo: http://www.overstock.com/

What's that?

You want to buy my baby a gift even though I never have time to a)blog with regularity or b)comment on your blog with regularity?

How kind of you!

Just click here. (P.S. mother, Amber Murphy, Kentucky)

What?!

It was worth a shot!

bring out your 1.) novocaine and 2.) percocet

2010-08-20T18:25:00.000-04:00

It's been a rough day.

See, there are a few things in life I'm scared of. I've talked about my fear of flying before, but there are a few fears which I haven't blog-fessed-up to. Until now.

1.) I'm scared when people in the passenger's seat of my car touch the airbag. Like, seriously, don't put your feet up on it if you ever want to ride with me again.

Just don't. I'm afraid it will go off, burning your face and probably totaling my car because the things are so damned expensive to replace. Or so I've heard. (And for the record, I've had this air-bag fear since my high school days, and well before one deployed near my face in my a-deer-hit-me-on-the-highway-wreck in May of 2000.)

Whew. I'm glad I let that out. But it was merely a digression. Read on, friends. Read on.

2.) I'm scared of oral dental surgery. That's why I still have all four of my mostly-impacted wisdom teeth. And that's why when I chipped a tooth months ago (before the pregnancy test came back positive!) I did NOTHING about it other than start cleaning it out with my tongue after eating practically anything.

So, yeah. I suck at life and all things orthodontal. (Plus, I had the pallate expander and braces... haven't I paid my dental dues?!)

Then, recently, two things happened:

1.) intense, throbbing pain around the broken molar in the very back of my mouth.
2.) the realization that if the area is infected, I might be putting the little baby girl inside me at risk.

I knew something had to be done. I was convinced that I would have it pulled when I found out that was one option and that a root canal was the other.

However, this morning, a dentist I trust and respect changed my mind, and I got the root canal, and it wasn't all that bad... except I'm pretty sure it startled the baby, who kicked the shi# out of me the entire time and made me have to pee.

Plus, I got:

1.) Friday off work.
2.) ...and painkillers! Whee! Trippin'spice.

(Nah, for reals. I haven't even taken any pain medicine yet except tylenol. I just talk a big game.)

Today, I become an expert in the art of...

2010-08-18T13:05:00.002-04:00

BREASTFEEDING!

I'm attending my first prenatal class this evening at the hospital where I will deliver the baby in December.

This particular class is all about breastfeeding, a subject which intimidated me less before I google-image-searched it. (Seriously, boys. Go wild. I've never seen so much areola in my life.)

I really hope breastfeeding works out for me, though... because I need to do it to save money. (Okay, I'm looking forward to that bond with the baby, too.)

I was going over a few budgeting issues last night and I realized that by the time my child is a toddler we will probably be living out of our car. Oh, but she'll have a really nice day care Monday - Friday from morning til night. So, that's cool.

I just can't get over it: $190 a week?! For daycare?! It sounds so insanely expensive, but I figure baby will be there 9 hours a day/ 5 days a week... which really only works out to about $4.2222222 an hour.

But, I digress. I was supposed to be writing about breastfeeding.

Yeah, so I'll let you know how my milking-class goes, and what I learn, and stuff.

i miss blogging on the regular

2010-08-16T21:10:00.000-04:00

Oh, I've just been so busy, though... and I hate to just pop in for a quickie post. See, this whole writing for examiner.com thing takes up my lunch hour now. That time used to be reserved for blogging.

Le sigh. I've sold you out for a paying gig. (Um, so far... it's not paying much. So don't get too excited.)
Check me out, though. Today, I wrote about Birth Plans.

And so far, my most popular article was about these quintuplets born in Louisville about a week ago.

So, that's cool... but I miss you guys!

***

Fear not! I will still shower you with lovespice. There's plenty of me to go around. (There's even more of me than there was before, thanks to all this pregnancy weight.)

Let's see... here are some random updates.

* When deleting spammy comments from my posts, I often think to myself "how ruuuude" a la Stephanie Tanner's Full House days. God, she was adorable before she bacame a crack whore.

* It feels odd, but I am currently reading... nothing! I'm allowed though, because I am at 61 books for 2010! I'm 39 books away from my goal with 4.5 months left in the year. I can doooo it!

* Reason I ain't readin' nothin': I took my library books back yesterday, Sunday, and the joint was closed. I can't afford to buy anything. No, for reals. I can't even afford Half Price Books, because I mean... well, even if I got 40 books at $2.00 each... that would be $80.00.

* Re: expendable income/ a.k.a spending money
Now non-existant due to impending baby human.

* Take pity on me and send me your used books! Hell, just make a cash donation to my pay pal account.

I kid, I kid.

* Unless you're interested.

if you missed it on facebook, we're having a...

2010-08-11T06:43:00.000-04:00

BABY!

Oh, wait. You guys already knew that, didn't you?

You want to know whether or not I'm having a boy or a girl...

especially if you entered my gender-guessy contest with the as-yet-unrevealed mystery prize.

So,

without further ado...

I would like to take this moment to announce

that we are

having

GIRL!

I'm reallllly excitedspice. I decided not to post the ultrasound pics of the special parts, because my daughter will emulate neither Lindsay Lohan nor Britney Spears. No. crotchshots.

Also, hubs bought me pink flowers yesterday!

Okay, on to the winner.

These people guessed girl:

Lilly

Jen

Vicki Rocho

Frankie Diane Mallis
Christine Danek

B.E. Sanderson

Natalie Murphy

Linda Henderson

Rose Cooper
tucsoncordovas

carissa

These guessed boy:

Jenna Wallace

MJenks

pinkflipflops

jayme @ kentucky blonde

a little pink in the cornfields

Simon Larter

Ashley Stone

Guesses it's a Griffin:

Travener

Random.org chose number 9 (out of all 20 guessers) so I just went down the list I made... and the lucky winner is...

Linda Henderson!

Linda, please email me at ambertiddmurphy@gmail.com with your contact info to claim your girly prize.

tomorrow's the big day (reduex)

2010-08-09T18:01:00.000-04:00

Boy or girl?

Tomorrow, I have an ultrasound. I'm almost 22 weeks pregnant.

If the baby does not reveal his or her special parts, I shall be very disappointed.

Hubs is convinced it's a boy.

My mom is attending the Big Show with us, and if it's a girl she and I plan to point at hubs

and say, "In yer face."

I know that most of you have already cast your votes. If you haven't, feel free to comment with your gender guess. I wish be giving away something blue or something pinkspice.

These people guessed girl:

Lilly

Jen

Vicki Rocho

Frankie Diane Mallis

Christine Danek

B.E. Sanderson

Natalie Murphy

Linda Henderson

Rose Cooper

These guessed boy:

Jenna Wallace

MJenks

pinkflipflops

jayme @ kentucky blonde
a little pink in the cornfields

Simon Larter

Guesses it's a Griffin:

Travener

Housekeeping: If you don't see your entry here, leave your guess in the comments below. Yes, the prize is still a mystery. If you don't like that, too badspice.

Friday Five

2010-08-06T18:51:00.003-04:00

1. I'm going to run over my neighbor's cat. Not on purpose. It won't be my fault. See, he likes to lounge in my driveway (the cat, not the neighbor) and when I try to pull my car into said driveway, the damn cat does not budge.

I actually had to stop at the top of my driveway yesterday and shoo him to get him to skedoodle.

And that was a lot of work. So, I'm considering accidental-looking cat murder.

2. I felt really fat today, and I ~~kept complaining about~~ mentioned it. In front of an obese coworker. Then, I felt insensitive and fat.

3. Is anyone else watching Big Brother? Or am I the only one? Anyone planning on watching Bachelor Pad? It starts Monday and I am already salivating over the impending sleeze.

4. Seriously, I love writing for Examiner.com. Check out all the articles I've written so far here. (Also, read my super cute bio. It rocks, if I do say so myself.)

5. Something in my kitchen reekslikeass. It might be my leftover-leftovers from PF Changs. Yikesspice. I have to go do the dishes now, or my husband will yell at me when he gets home from work.

outlet. for. pregnancy. hormones. (or, a negative review of Walgreens)

2010-08-04T18:08:00.002-04:00

So.

I go to Walgreens pretty often. I used to visit my local Walgreens like every other day, because it was in walking distance from the location where I worked, and was super convenient for a secret smoke break (before pregnancy, thankyouverymuch) or an oft needed mid-day infusion of Munchos or caffeine (uh, also before pregnancy. Well except for the Munchos. I still devour those.)

Anyway, I digress. Sometimes I do that when I tell stories. And when I'm mad.

The people at my Walgreens are almost always really nicespice. This cute old man works there and he has an infectious smile. A cute old lady always mentions it when she has a coupon available for an item in my cart.

I love the checkout people at Walgreens. And I love the elderly.

Usually, the pharmacy staff at my chosen Walgreens are also very helpful, decent human beings. Yeah, they get busy, but they are still awesome.

Except for today.

See, I dropped off a prescription (baby and I are fine, don't worry. Nothing big; I'm not even sick) in the drive thru and went on my merry way. When I came back, I pulled up to the outside drive thru lane. Now, I'm not a huge fan of the outside lane because there isn't a window, and I like a little face time with the service industry. (If I wanted to deal with a pill-o-max or whatever, I would just apply to work with Nurse Jackie.) But, the window-lane was taken, so I decided I would use lane two. Obvi.

I pushed the help button, since sometimes two pharmacy techs work there. I've been there. I know.

Do you want to know what this heinous bleep said to me?

"...helping lane one..."

And that was it. No "I'll be right with you" or "Hi, how are you?"

I. was. livid!

I immediately pretended that I misunderstood and thought lane two was closed. I put my little Vibe (love ya, Bella!) in reverse and got behind the car in lane one. I wanted this little pharmacy skanks name. I wanted her blood. (Well, okay. That's taking it a little far.)

When it was my turn, I couldn't read her name tag because it was hanging sideways off her little Walgreens apron and was kind of hidden in the crevice of her arm.

"Yes?" She had the phone-with-the-microphone resting between her shoulder and her ear. She looked thoroughly bored. She made no eye contact with me.

"Picking up." I decided that two-could-play-this-terse-game.

"Address?"

"35486531 where i live street."

"$10.00." (Score! At least it was cheap.)

I swear I threw my checkcard in that little bin. Then, for good measure, I rolled my eyes. She probably didn't even see me.

When she gave me my medication and receipt, she did not say thank you. She did, for some unknown reason, tell me to have a good day. LIKE SHE CARED.

I decided she deserved NOTHING from me. So, I did not speak. She is cut off. Donespice.

See, the thing is -- I might be a banker, but I work in customer service. We know that people can choose to bank anywhere they want. We always welcome our customers, ask if there is anything else we can assist with, thank them for their business... we always use their names. We always smile and focus on our customers. These things seem second nature to me -- simple. Like breathing. Or like writing about being pissed off at a Walgreens employee who needs a serious attitude adjustment, and could also use highlights.

coolspice contests and giveaways

2010-08-03T12:58:00.003-04:00

Epic August Contest

Roni (my favorite fiction groupie) and Julie Cross (another awesome blogger) are giving away a multitude of prizes, tag team style.

This week alone, you can win:

Hannah Moskowitz's Break
Lisa Desrocher's Personal Demons (ARC)
A query or first five pages critique from Fine Print Lit's intern, Gemma Cooper
A query or first five pages critique from Janet Reid's assistant, Meredith Barnes
A query or first five pages critique from agent Suzie Townsend
A query or first five pages critique from editor Brendan Deneen

Enter here. Enter now (or by Sunday, August 8) so that you'll have a chance to win!

Store Your Liquor

Also, Ashley over at As a Matter of Opinion... is giving away a really cute winerack. Wanna see it?

Cute, right? (And, if you're Simon Larter, don't worry... I'll bet you could substitute vodka bottles instead of wine. A vodka rack. What a novel idea!)

So, click here to enter. Or, don't, and I'll have a better chance to win. Muhahahahahahahaaaaaah.

Lastly...

A Little Pimpin' of My Ownself

Please click here and read my latest Louisville New Moms article on Examiner.com. (It's a featured article on the main Louisville page right now. It's so exciting. Well, that might be because I made all my coworkers read it earlier. Hmm. Whatever works!)

Also, if you haven't already, you need to guess whether or not I'm having a boy or a girl. Because my next ultrasound is a week from today... and when I find out if I'm on Team Blue of Team Pink, my vague-contest (no one knows what the prize will be) will end immediatelyspice.

Deets from original post:
Get busy. One guess per entrant. You have to guess the sex correctly to get an entry, unless you tweet or blog about the giveaway, in which case you'll get two entries in spite of getting the gender in question right or wrong.... but let me know in the comments how many entries I should give you, okay?

To simpify your life, you can enter my contest in the comments on this post. Right here, right now. Do it.

super secret project reveal

2010-08-02T12:16:00.001-04:00

I am now I journalist!

I signed up with Examiner.com and I have already published two articles. I am the "Louisville New Moms Examiner" and I get to write about whatever I choose, so long as it's pertinent to my local audience.

Won't you take a look at what I've written. (Because, you know, I get paidspice for pageviews/ length of time you stay on the page/ etc.)

Here's a link to my first article.

And my second.

Won't you support my Day Care Fund by reading one or both?!

Also, if you are interested in becoming an examiner in your town... it's easy to apply! The cool thing is that the possibilities are pretty much endless. You could be a Book Exmainer, a Creative Writing Examiner, a Restaurants Examiner, a Cupcake Examiner (I'm talking to you, Sierra Godfrey!) or a Pocket Link Examiner. (Okay, maybe you couldn't be a Pocket Link Examiner. Though, if you did, I would totes read your work.)

It's kind of like blogging, except you can't write in first person. Or end words with spice. Or use foul language or other snarky words... and you have to stay on topic... you can't just ramble on and on... like this...

(Seriouslyspice, If you do apply, please tell 'em I sent ya. There's a spot on the online application which asks "how did you hear about Examiner?" That's where you would write Amber Murphy told me, because she is awesome. )

So, thanks for your support! I know that you'll only be looking at my articles because you love me, as the information won't be useful for us unless you live in Louisville and are having a baby or are a new mom.

i am out of steam

2010-07-30T19:38:00.002-04:00

I'm working on a new "project" which I will be unveiling soon!

(Ohhhh, the mystery.)

You'll just have to wait to see what it is. For now, all I've got for you is a huge and very sincere TGIFspice:

No, really. Thank GOD and jesus and mary that it's Friday.
For the love of all that is holy, I never thought this week would end.

tmi thursday: muskrat love?

2010-07-29T20:15:00.002-04:00

Hubs is out golfing, so this evening I'm planted in front of the television all set to watch my DVR-ed The-President-Visits-The-View and tonight's eviction episode of Big Brother.

First, though, I thought I might regale you with an unprecendented TMI Thursday topic.

Last night, I let my dog out for a routine pre-bedtime potty break. Ever the rebellious little hellion, she escaped from the back yard and set out to do some sniffing in someone else's territory. Hubs went out to rein her in, and as soon as he opened the front door, I started gagging.

"Ew, hubs. It smells like a skunk died in our driveway!"

Suddenly, Carson appeared on the front ~~porch~~ stoop and bolted into the house. She was obviously in the midst of some hyperactive moment or experiencing some sort of post traumatic stress. She bounded down the hallway and into our bed, and then back up the hall and into the living room.

Then, I noticed that her doggy hair looked pretty greasy.

Then I noticed that the skunk smell was 42415531 times stronger.

Oh, mother of God! No! Say it ain't so. (I mean, I was just about to go to bed!)

Hubs immediately planted his nose into her back and came up gagging. I'm pretty sure he got skunk jizz all up in his nasal passages.

So, I explored some online options for removing skunk smell from dog (we were fresh out of hydrogen peroxide and baking soda and tomato juice) while hubs threw her in the bath.

Since we didn't seem very well stocked for the occasion, hubs just scrubbed the hell out of her with her normal oatmeal body wash.

While Carson toweled off, I took my copy of THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO to bed with me and crawled under the covers to read 2.5 pages before I sacked out.

After reading about a paragraph, I recalled that my darling dog had rolled around in our blankets with her skunky ass. I stuck my head under the comforter and inhaled. It didn't smell much worse in there than it did in the rest of house, so I just went with it. I turned off the light and closed my eyes so as to fall asleep before hubs came into the bedroom and required me to take the time and effort to put clean sheets on our bed.

post-skunk-smell-removal

Yes, I slept in those skunky sheets. And I was snoozingspice by the time hubs came to bed, so I don't know if he noticed that I hadn't changed the bed linens. And, depending on how they smell this evening, I might just go ahead and sleep in those sheets again tonight.

I mean, I don't do laundry until Sundays.

the bun in my oven is now half-baked (no, wait... that doesn't sound right)

2010-07-28T12:26:00.001-04:00

This morning I went to my 20 week appointment with my OBGYN. It pretty much amounted to an hour of wait time in which I felt guilty for reading THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO instead of parenting magazines. My reward: a few precious seconds of hearing a little heartbeat on a fetal monitor.

So, yeah. It was still cool.

I scheduled my next ultrasound -- Tuesday, August 10th! This should be baby-boy-or-baby-girl day. Oh, the anticipationspice!

Update on yesterday's post: overwhelmingly, you readers do not dig the M & M motif for my future infant. Don't worry -- I'm on your side. If only hubs knew about my blog, I could explain that by popular opinion, they've gotta go. Perhaps I should do a facebook poll. Ohh, I know... I'll post it on The Bump. Those ladies will rip it apart. They take no prisoners.

Le sigh. I must haul my bump back to the workplace.

dreams of little green people

2010-07-27T11:35:00.001-04:00

Would this have scared the beejesus-spice out of you as a child?

For the record, these M & M people aren't my handiwork. It isn't like I all of the sudden developed a talent in the visual arts.

This is our "other" spare bedroom -- our future nursery. The walls looked this way when we moved in five years ago. At the time we thought, "Ohh, this would make such a cute baby room someday!"

Now, I'm reallyreally torn about keeping these chocolate covered creatures of the walls of my little beans bedroom. Aren't they kind of creepy?

Or are they cute?

What do you think?

Keep 'em or dump 'em?

(Hubs still likes them. I think he just doesn't want to paint. My big issue is that they aren't really calming. Maybe they were cute for the toddler who used to live in my house, but maybe they also turned her into some hyper-active, manic beast-of-a-child. One who was afraid to eat candy or something.)

worth some examination

2010-07-26T11:43:00.001-04:00

Do you guys know about The Examiner?

It's a pretty awesome city-specific website. In addition to news and weather, you can search articles written by experts called (obviously enough) Examiners. I just checked out the Louisville Writing Careers Examiner, a gal named Jessica Hastings.

(A few of you will love to know that her most recent post was on Writing the Breakout Novel by Donald Maas.)

The Examiner is hiring. There are a list of topic available in your city of choice, or you can add a topic that interests you if you don't find your preference listed.

I submitted a bio, some personal information, and a writing sample over the weekend, and hope to become a First Time Mom Examiner, or the Louisville Book Examiner.

I have no idea what the pay scale is, but I figured it was worth looking into. A little suplemental income never hurt anyone expecting a baby!

Let me know if you're heard anything about The Examiner -- or if you have tried out the website before, let me know what you think.

getting all bookified

2010-07-23T19:55:00.001-04:00

My pal, pinkflipflops, at the many thoughts of a reader snagged these questions from squido.com.

I'd love to read your book-y answers, too!

What have you just read?

I just finished THE GIRL WHO STOPPED SWIMMING by Joshilyn Jackson and I lurvvvved it. I blogged about it earlier this week because I jocked it so much. Before reading that amazing novel, I read WEDDING SEASON by Darcy Cosper, (adored it) a book my Mom liked called THE SHACK (sort of abhored it!) and BUT INSIDE I'M SCREAMING by Elizabeth Flock (it was a'right.)

What are you reading now?

Don't laugh. I often read 21654321 books at the same time. I technically have six books going right now.

I've been reading Jonathan S. Foer's EVERYTHING IS ILLUMINATED since April. Yeah. I've sort of decided to finish it at some point since I'm close to halfway through it.

I'm reading THE BLIND ASSASSIN by Margaret Atwood.

I started THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO last night because I couldn't help myself.

I've been reading Steve Martin's THE PLEASURE OF MY COMPANY in my car-spare-time (i.e. red lights and drive thru's) this week, and I'm in love with the first 30 pages. I brought it in the house last night and apologized to "those other books" I'm reading.

Also, I'm reading THE PREGNANCY JOURNAL: A DAY TO DAY GUIDE TO A HEALTHY AND HAPPY PREGNANCY and WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING.

Obvi.

Do you have any idea what you'll read when you're done with that?

As a matter of matter, I do! When I finish at least two of the books listed above I'll probably start one of my library books... either Patricia Wood's LOTTERY or Jonathan Tropper's HOW TO TALK TO A WIDOWER.

What's the worst thing you were ever forced to read?

Herm. I can't remember being forced to read anything completely heinous. I wasn't a fan of MOBY DICK, so I put it down after 140-ish pages. But no one was forcing me to read it. My ex-beau went through an Ayn Randian phase, and I wasn't a huge fan of THE VIRTUE OF SELFISHNESS, either.

What's one book you always recommend to just about anyone?

Sue Miller's WHILE I WAS GONE.
Barbara Kingsolver's THE POISONWOOD BIBLE.
Lois Lowry's THE GIVER.

Le Sighspice. I love those three books.

Do you read books while you eat?

Yes. At almost every meal.

While you bathe?

I used to sit down in the shower and read when I was a teen. Sometimes the pages would get wet. (Um, no. I'm serious!) These days, my hot water heater doesn't have time for me to both read and wash my 2000 parts, so I put the kibosh on that activity years ago.

I hardly ever have a bath, but when I do, there are always bubbles and books involved.

While you watch movies or tv?

Yes, sometimes. During commercials, especially. Then I'll look up and realize the show is back on and I have to rewind live television. I often say, "It's magic" while doing so, and kiss my remote. I love DVR.

While you're on the computer?

Not typically. Maybe if I was waiting for a website to load, or if I was idle on facebook or something.

When you were little did other children tease you about your reading habits?

Not that I can recall... they had plenty of other reasons to tease me (reasons including, but not limited to, the canyon of a gap between my two front teeth.)

I did get in trouble once during fifth grade Math class for reading a Baby-Sitter's Club book in the middle of the lesson.

What's the last thing you stayed up half the night reading because it was so good you couldn't put it down?

Chris Bohjalian's THE DOUBLE BIND... and about 90% of the other books I've read this year.

Have any books made you cry?

Duh! I'm a girlspice. The last book I remember inducing actual wet tears were Cormac McCarthy's THE ROAD and Sue Miller's LOST IN THE FOREST.

This was fun! If your name is Travener or Roni or Elena or Shannon or other-Amber's or JM Diaz or Carissa or Jen or Simon or Wendy or Sierra or Natalie or Mehlane or Vickie or Lilly or B.E. or something else then YOU, too... should complete this meme.

(Yeah, that was lazy tagging, so you aren't officially bound.)

tmi thursday: in which i'm buying Abreva in bulk

2010-07-22T18:00:00.000-04:00

I look like a leper.

No, seriously. My once-bronzed arms are peeling like two overly ripe bananas. Not that bananas peel on their own or anything.

You get the picture.

They are more flakes around here than there are on Myspace. (I kid, I kid.)\

Yeah, so my time in the sun has left me a little char-broiled. In addition to my now splotchy epidermis, my lower lip decided to revolt and complained about over-exposure to UV Rays by sprouting -- not one, mind you-- two fever blisters.

I look like Mel Gibson's girlfriend. (Wait, did he hit her, or just say mean things? Maybe I just look like a cornfed version of Rhiana post-Chris-Brown.)

TMI-case-in-point: it's kind of embarrassing to admit that I get the occasional cold sore.

By occasional, I mean this:

I had one last summer when my nephew was born. I wasn't technically even allowed to be in my sister's hospital room. I didn't get to kiss the baby. (I did hold him though, after using hand sanitzer. My sister is cool like that.)

I had one a few weeks before my wedding, two years ago. I used everything from ice to toothpaste to nail-polish remover to get that sucker to disappear before my wedding photos. Thankfully, I won that battle. Let's be honest: fever-blister-bride is pretty white trash, as matrimonial styles go. (It wasn't really the look I was after, in any case.)

However, I am -- of course -- proud to announce that I had a cold sore when I started dating Mr. Murphy. (He was obviously quite choose-y about potential mates.)

The night we ~~hooked up~~ began courting in a very appropriate and romantic fashion, he said he didn't care that I had a cold sore because "he never gets them."

(True to his word, all I gave him in those first few months of our relationship was mono.)

~~And head.~~

~~Was that out loud?~~

Anyway, I went to school the next day and bragged to my college-guy-buddy, "Dude! I wear my STD on my face, and I still got laid this weekend. That's how I rollspice."

the girl who stopped swimming, but wouldn't stop reading

2010-07-21T17:41:00.000-04:00

Ahh... I'm reading the best book right now. The main characters are named David and Laurel -- the same names as two of my very own characters in my will-she-really-ever-finish-writing-it WIP.

Anyway. The book is called THE GIRL WHO STOPPED SWIMMING and it has been likened to THE LOVELY BONES.

It's fantastic so far -- 85 pages in, and I'm. in. love.

I'm off to read more, but before I go...

I haven't really bragged about the sheer awesomespice number of books I've read in 2010 for awhile. It's time to share:

With a goal of 100, I'm on book number 54!

While I apparently threw out my writing goals along with the used-pregnancy tests I took (hubs said it was just icky-weird to save those as mementos -- also, is that like thowing out the baby with the bath water? -- I never understood that cliche. Anyway. This parenthetical aside has spiraled out of control.) it appears that I just might succeed in my reading goals this year.

I rock at something!

i'm back with a random vengeance. clearly.

2010-07-20T16:13:00.001-04:00

This afternoon, I lulled away the day. Yes, I'm off work again... I have to be there this Saturday, so I was entitled to the shedding of a few hours today, an attempt to keep overtime to a minimum.

That's just fine with me.

I meant to come home and take a nap. (That's always on my agenda. Clearly.) Instead, I caught up on my google reader -- or at least made a hell of an attempt to do so -- read a bit of a novel, watched ~~obscene amounts of~~ a three-hour-long, DVR-ed episode of Big Brother After Dark on SHO-time. (This was, in fact, so mind-numbing that it was almost like napping.)

So is the story of my life: watch hours tick away while I make little progress: maternal, writerly, or otherwise. It occurs to me that I probably need to learn how to do things, like, I don't know, install a car seat. Or perhaps start a babyspice-registry. Or scope out day-care centers.

Instead, I just made a king-sized Snickers my bitch and poured myself a Sweet Tea. Ahh, my new drug of choice: the sugar coma.

p.s. Is that really how you spell vengeance?

a sober vacation: or, in which i drank o'douls

2010-07-19T11:39:00.000-04:00

Vacation was a complete and utter... success! Let's not talk about getting up this morning -- although I have enjoyed returning to the workforce with bronzed arms and legs.

This was day one: pre-bronzed body parts.

The baby-makers.

Impregnated, designated driver.

View from our balcony. Note the clear water... but also note the lack of beach. This has nothing to do with the oil spill... apparently the shore has just eroded. They are supposed to get replacement sand... eventually. It was actually kind of nice: no trudging across hot, dry sand to get to the salt water!

Seriously, though. Lack of beachspice.

With a beach buddy like this, though... who could complain about anything?

Well, bloggy world: I'm back. What have I missed in your lives? Which posts in my overflowing google-reader are can't miss? Who missed me the mostest?

castles in the sand

2010-07-09T11:42:00.000-04:00

I'll be unplugged next week while I'm at the beach getting my vacay on. Yes, I know you'll miss me, but absence makes the heart grow even fonder! For the record, I am quite behind on my google reader. I'm hoping to catch up and visit all your fabulous blogs before I leave. Mama loves you!

In other news, is this not awesome?! ...

I'll be back next week with photos galore of my bathing suit baby bump (which will probably be made up of about 14 pounds of peel-and-eat shrimp and other beachy treats. If I can't drink frozen adult beverages, you'd better believe I'll be reaching levels of intoxication via food.)

Good-bye, land lubbers. I'm beach bound!

TMI Thursday: nah, just a regular post

2010-07-08T11:28:00.001-04:00

TMI Thursday is becoming a chore. As much as I love to regale you with my tales of woespice and irresponsibility, these moments of insanity are now fewer and farther between as I can no longer use alcohol as fodder for my blog-worthy behavior. This morning I was all, Aw, man: it's Thursday. What do I have for my TMI post? Nothing.

So, perhaps I'll just post TMI's sporatically for the next few.

Sorry to disappoint. *hangs head.*

In normal news, my vacation starts as soon as I leave the bank tomorrow evening! Hoorayyyyyspice. I'm so ready for fun in the sun. I need a break, and I can't wait to arrive in Destin early Sunday morning. My niece and I have plans for lots of pool time. We even practiced on Memorial Day weekend. Please review:

always pose by the pool in a cute dress.

hold on to aunt amber for dear life.

remove mascara before getting in next time. (applies to aunt amber only. obvi.)

Wear bikini to infuriate daddy, pappaw, and uncle murph!

(only applies to carley; clearly aunt amber will not be showing off a bare preggers midsection. come on now. that would be trashy.)

if you're happy and you know it... make a list

2010-07-06T12:20:00.000-04:00

Bank Monday holidays are the best. A solid, uninterrupted weekend -- even if one is forced to put in a few Saturday hours, as this one was -- and Monday off on the company's dime.

Blissspice.

However, a Tuesday at the bank after a Monday holiday is not so utopian and sometimes makes an employee forget why it was worth it to have a day off at all.

So, yes. Today has been a bit stressful. I'd like to take this opportunity to remind myself of all the things that make me happy.

Things that make me grin

1. Lunch hour. Eating hubs homemade tuna on yummy whole grain bread, even though we're at the end of the loaf and I had to use the heel.

2. Making sweet tea in my Mr. Coffee Iced Tea Maker. Drinking said sweet with ice. Ice is nice. I like ice.

3. My 2010 reading total: 48 books. As of July 6th, I'm only two books off the pace. I WILL read 100 books this year. (Know of any good short books? I'm obvi going to need to pad my stats a little.)

4. Classic college basketball games on the Big Ten Network. Cheering for my Hoosiers in games long since written in the record books is fun, not strange.

5. Three paychecks in July. I loved you July 2nd. July 16th and July 30th -- we will be great friends.

6. Signing up for WriteOnCon. I'm allowed, even though I don't write kid lit.

7. Memories of Jake and Vienna's interview last night on The Bachelorette. It was deliciously awkward, though it did give me a bit of heartburn. Worth it.

8. My vacation starts Saturday! We're going to Destin, Florida and will have fun whether we're bathed in suntan oil or BP oil.

9. Shopping for vacation must-haves, like a bathing suit, because this is the first year I can say that it isn't my fault if I don't look like a perfect ten in my swim wear. Of course I don't. I'm making a baby.

10. Saying der out loud after typing number 9.

ambiguous baby; contest extended

2010-07-05T13:30:00.001-04:00

Well, I hope you've enjoyed the fourth and have extended your Independence Celebration, as I have, with a paid day off work! Hubs and I stayed in yesterday: I read, he cooked. We ate skewered shrimp and grilled pineapple, made s'mores, and watched our neighbors fireworks show. (I swear, they must have spent a small fortune.) It was a grand ol' time. I didn't change out of my pajamas all day, nor did I complete any tasks that one might call productive. That's why laundry, dishes, and some semblance of house cleaning are on the docket today.

But, first: an update on Baby Murphy. I went for the ultrasound Friday, and it.was.fantastic to see my little peanut's face.

Crazy/ Amazing.

The ultrasound tech got a pretty decent view of the private parts from the rear angle, and said the following, "Well, I don't really see anything sticking out... so I would say I was leaning toward girl, if I could just see a little more detail. "

I said, "So, what I'm hearing is 80/20 girl."

She's all, "I didn't say that! I really can't say with confidence either way. Sorry!!!"

Blast. I wanted to know for sure! I guess I'll leave the contest open, even though I feel like voting girl would now be the obvious choice. (I'm pretty sure we're having a girl. There was nothing sticking out!)

Here are the votes so far:

Girl

Lilly

Jen

Vicki Rocho

Frankie Diane Mallis

Christine Danek

B.E. Sanderson

Natalie Murphy

Boy

Jenna Wallace

MJenks

pinkflipflops

jayme @ kentucky blonde

a little pink in the cornfields

A Griffin

Travener

I've decided that everyone who submitted a guess will receive an entry whether or not they guess correctly, because I'm nice like that. Also, the prize is still a mystery... so that makes this contest more specialspice.

Hopefully, I'll have another ultrasound July 30th, so the madness should end then.

Thank you. Over and out.